money issues

Thanks for responding, one responce to a person that has lost husband and mother in 9 months.  I'm in clinical depression, suicidal, and write to one of the places that most of the time someone has been through it before, an d has something to say.  I'm guessing if someone on this log that has been through it before, they're not around anymore to answer.  NO ONE CARES  CC is the most devasting disease, it not only kills the patient, but also his family.

Dear Theresa,

We do care and want you to get the help you need to heal.  I think Lainy is right.  It is hard to know what to say, but I know what you are going through.  I lost Jim in less than 2 months.  It has been over three years and not a day goes by that I don't think of him and miss him.  It isn't easy, but I just keep trying to go on and deal with things one day at a time.  I don't have any answers for you, but just want you to know that I am thinking of you and hoping things will work out for you.

Love & Hugs,
Darla

Dear Theresa,
I read your post the other day and felt so terrible for you. I was afraid to say anything to you and I am sorry. I didn't want to say something that could have made you feel worse. I felt you needed more professional advice than I was able to give. I realize now that all I needed to say was that I care and that might have helped. I am sorry and I do care about you. I hope you are able to find happiness one day.

Love, Pam

Thank you, for your notes, its been a rough time.  Once I got my med.s by Tuesday I was feeling better.  Still sad, still cry, but right now I'm holding my own.  I do have people on my contract to call if it gets that bad, that time my daughter called me.  Other times I have called my therapist.  The lady that told me to drop my insurance so I could get it from the mental health place, do taked into the fact that I'm diabetic, high blood pressure, thyroid med.s, potassium, iron from my oncologist, and medicine for my inherited tremmors.  After I broke my thumb last week I also found out that I inherited all my mothers arthritis.  I get very discourage but I'm trying.  By the way today at work was pink day, for breast cancer.  I'm wearing my green cc foundation t-shirt with a green ribbon, under it I did put a pink one. Cc is not fare to the patient, or to the familes.  Thanks

Good to hear that you are feeling much better, Theresa.  Please, stay well.
All my best wishes,
Marion

I had therapy after work yesterday, she waited until it was time for me to leave that she told me that my friend who is paying for it stops at the end of the year.  She asked how I felt, I know I got very quiet, I felt my blood pressure raise, and my depression drop lower.  I got home went to bed, I heard my dog barking over and over, I looked out it was my daughter.  I told her that it seems she  shows up when I'm down.  My daughter told me she would pay for my therapy, not to worry.  I did another first, my daughter the other day was talking about going to buy a air compressor.  I bit my upper lip, and said we have one in the shed, which belonged to her dad.  That's the reason she came over, but that was the first one of Wayne's toys to leave my house.  I was sad that Wayne would not ever use it again, but it is in a good home, I know Wayne would be OK with that.  That didn't stop the tears then and now but it is still in the family.  I told her also that I have some attachments somewhere still in the boxes never used.

I have a son who lives out of town, and he has two daughters.  My daughter lives nearly 50 miles away, I call it the other country.  I live 25 miles east of the Mississippi River and she lives 25 miles west of the Mississippi, but she works on this side, in LSU.  I still have most of Wayne's things where he left them, we didn't know that when he went to the hospital, he would never come home.  We have two sheds with all different toys of his, probably sooner or later most will go to my daughter and her husband, a lot have never been used.  Some I'll keep I can use a electric saw if I need to, and a drill.  I have a couple of kits in the utility room.  Thanks for caring.

I don't know if I mentioned it, I have this thing about talking on the telephone, really not talking on the phone.  My therapist talked me into calling to pay my house note.  She advised me to call Wayne's sister, the biggest mistake of my life.  She told me anything to be spiteful and hateful.  I told her she was lucky I allowed her to go to the hospital, hospice, and the funeral.  She said she was his sister that I couldn't stop her.  Then I  explained the law to her, when you get married your spouse becomes your next of kin, then parents, then children, I told her she was down the line.  I knew it was a mistake to call, I found out the one I wouldn't allow to to go to these places is moving 4 miles from me.  I know we will run into Wal-Mart, the last time we saw her, I told him she was sitting across in a restraunt, he refused to look around to see her.  Four year prior was the last time they saw each other, she told her that she loved him.  (Yeah right!)
I almost forgot, I was getting ready to call one of the people on my call list when guess who called, my daughter Heather.

I have to agree with you two ladies.  Some people are just toxic to us and we need to stay away.  Whatever it takes.  I have a few of those situations too and am learning that it is best for me to stay away and stick with those who care and are supportive.

I'm another none caller.  I too talk when people call me, but don't often make the calls myself. 

Theresa, it sure does seem that your daughter has some sense of knowing when she is needed.  You are fortunate to have her in your life.

Love & Hugs,
Darla