Re: My Husband and Cholangiocarcinoma - Part 2
I promised I would write and let you all know the words that my son Gilbert spoke at Tom's funeral service. He did not save it on the computer, but I remembered that he'd given me a copy and I found it in the car today.
"I was about 25 when I first found out that Tom was dating my Mother. I was wondering if this man was the right person for my Mom. Was this man going to treat my Mom right? At first, I did not know Tom, I really didn't understand him a whole bunch, but Mom asked me to give him a chance, well, I did.
During the time that I have known Tom, he has accepted me, my wife and my children as if we were his own blood, no questions asked.
Tom has shown me a gentleness and caring in a way that I always thought a real father should show to his family and friends.
Tom was a very kind, gentle, thoughtful, caring and respectful person. Tom was the genuine "Hey, how ya doing and what you up too, can I give you a hand kind of guy. He would talk to anyone, it didn't matter the color of skin, height or social group. He just wanted to meet as many people, and do as many new things in his life as he could. He was very intoxicating to be around.
Tom has touched the lives of many, many people. I'm sorry to say that many will not be granted his wisdom due to his early departure from this world.
Tom, I want to thank you for teaching me to be a better father, husband and friend. We all will miss you, on this earth, but forever you will be in our thoughts and hearts. But for now, Hey, catch that fish, kick back and have that beer, take a walk in the woods, relax my friend, my father...you have earned it. We will meet again in the future and will play a game of cribbage!"
Gil's son, Michael, 12 years old is having a hard time dealing with Papa's passing. Papa was the FUN Papa (and I am the FUN Grandma) and Michael loved spending time with us. Papa was the only Papa that Michael knew since he was a tiny infant when Tom and I re-united and married.
Our 4 year old grandson, Alex is going to build a rocket to fly to Heaven and bring Papa back for me. He decided that a rocket would be faster than building a ladder!
Little 28 month old Thomas does not yet understand why Papa is not at Ama's house. I gave his Mom a picture frame with 4 pictures in it. Pictures of Papa and I along with some other photo's so that Lil Tommy will have pictures of Papa in his own house. Each night that Picture frame goes with Tommy to bed, and placed on a chair next to his toddler bed. He and his mom say his night time prayers that end with "Good night Papa, watch over me as I sleep" and Lil Tommy has to give Papa good night kisses and if Mom forgets, he say "Kizz Papa?"
I cried this morning when I looked out the window and did not see Tom's truck in the driveway. His truck went to his son Tom Jr. I knew it was gone as he'd picked it up the night before, but it hit me hard when I didn't see it in the drive. Oh, such odd things that we get all teary eyed about. I'm in no hurry to go through his clothes or to change anything in our bedroom. I know that in time it's a chore that I will do, but for now, having his clothes in his dresser and in our closet keeps him close to me. I wore his fleece that he was wearing when he passed, hung his cruifix on the wall beside his recliner and it brings me comfort.
Love and hugs,