Mary, it is going to take time, everything is still raw. I feel anyone that could be a Care Taker to the person with CC that they love most in life can climb above anything...in time. Actually the hardest for me is over and that was Thanksgiving. Teddy would have his huge village up, the house was decorated by me on the inside (yes, the Jew) and the day after Thanksgiving 5 of us would decorate outside from 9AM - 5PM with a break for Margaritas. This year all was quiet. The first anniversary was actually ok. I kept telling myself that I would not pick a special day to be sad and mourn because I get sad here and there so don't need a special day. I worked on my final poem and that helped. All in all I did ok. I have come to the conclusion that we loved so very hard, you, Margaret, Devastated, Marion and I that we hurt hard as well. Actually this goes for any married couple who has had what we all had.
On November 29th my Granddaughter drove back up to NAU at Flagstaff after our Thanksgiving weekend. I was out for dinner with my 3 guests from Milwaukee. My phone rang and I hear, "Grandma? It's Lexy. I just wanted to tell you that I have been thinking about Papa all the way back and I have about 40 miles to go and on my Ipod came a song, "I Am Watching Over You". I told her how wonderful and loved her Papa was that so many of us still feel sad and its OK. Then I told her to take one last important lesson from Papa. That is when the time comes for her to marry she marry a man who will puts her on a pedestal like Papa did me. She answered, "I already learned that from him, Grandma".
Mary please try not to think so far ahead. Give yourself a break as you have enough on your plate for awhile. Just try to live your new normal and you will be happy again one day....because that is what your loving husband would want for you. I just know that the 3 T's (Teddy, Tom and Tom) are looking down on us and saying, Good job guys, we sure picked the right 3 women!!!!
Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.