Topic: 2 months since my Tom passed
The day you left me, two months ago,
was the saddest day of my life.
Although I knew in my heart and mind, that one day you would leave
I was praying that it would not be so soon.
You knew that you meant the world to me
You were my sun, my moon and my stars.
And I know that you felt the same way about me.
On our first day back together you spoke from your heart
and said "I love you and want to be with you until the day I die".
A few days later you had a tatoo put on your right arm. It said:
and had our zodiac signs.
It represented the last year we were together and then the year we got back together.
Remember how I always teased you and said it looked like I was born in 1977 and died in 1999?
It should have said 1970 - 1999 (our first time together and when we finally got together for real)
You never broke your promise to me as the day before you passed
you opened your beautiful blue eyes and said "I need a hug" and as I sat on the bed and hugged you, you then said "I love you, more today than I did yesterday, and more than I did the day before, and all the days before that"
As I held you in my arms that day, we hugged and I felt your love
flow into my heart and mind. And I know you felt my love do the
same to you.
The day that you left me I asked you to open your eyes and you did, then your last words were "I love you".
Over the years, We were the couple that many people envied because of that love.
Many will never find the true love that we shared, no matter how hard they try.
I sit in your chair each day
reflecting on our life together
trying to remember each and every thing
that made our life together complete.
Was it the looks we shared? The long talks we had?
Was it our love that we neverlost sight of? Was it us doing everything together?
Was it the love we had for our children and our grandchildren?
The love we had for our friends? Was it the "In so Hon" that you ended a lot of your
statements or comments with?
No matter how bad things got, no matter how sick you were, I never wanted you to leave.
I promised I'd stand by you and I would take care of you for as long as was necessary.
I was there for you in so many ways.
In ways that many people will never be able to comprehend or understand.
I held you when you were sick, I cried with you when you were sad. I helped you to shower and dress
when you could not do it for yourself. I saw you at your worst, and at your best. I cleaned you up when you
had accidents. You always apologized, but it was not necessary, because that is what a spouse does for the one
she loves. I would do it again in a heartbeat if given the chance. Just as I know you would have done for me.
Even thinking of us being apart now brings tears to my eyes.
As that one lone tear rolls down my face
I struggle to not let the other tears follow.
I needed to be strong for you, for I was your strength
when you were weak.
I could not be sad, for I was your happiness
when you were sad.
I was always there for you, even when others were not. I was your rock, the one you could
always depend on. You saw me struggle at times to keep it together, you knew that some of the things
I did for you were rough on me. You depended upon me for so many things, but that was ok because you needed someone.
You saw me at my worst, in the middle of the night when you needed help. You tried so hard sometimes to do it
yourself because you were thinking of me. You always had me first and foremost in your thoughts, just as I did you.
It's kind of ironic isn't it. But that is what love and marriage is all about!
I will alway remember the DASH, the years between your birth and your death. Because the DASH is what was the most
important. The way you lived your life. The way you impacted others. After our marriage in 2001 you accepted my family, my children and my grandchildren as your own. As I did yours. We always treated them all fairly, be it birthdays or for Christmas. You loved them all equally! As I did too. That worked for us, always.
My darling, my thoughts will be of you all day today, even as I'm working. I love you and miss you so much, no one will ever know just how much that is. That is between you and I. And when I get to that high mountain I know you will be waiting for me with open arms, ready to continue our journey together.
All my love, thoughts and prayers are with you on the eve of the two month anniversary of your passing into your eternal life.