Vicky--I am on this site almost every day and, while I don't usually write, I had to respond to your message. I'm so sorry your mom has this terrible disease. I can understand your anger and have felt it, too. My husband was diagnosed with cholangiocarcinoma in August, 2005. He beat stomach cancer in 1992---non-Hodgkins lymphoma in 1998---and now cholangiocarcinoma in 2005. All three were primary cancers and not related to each other. It seems like each time we began to feel safe and to believe we had beat the cancer, he would develop another. He was 42 when first diagnosed in '92 and has spent the last 14 years dealing with cancer. Who would think someone could get 3 separate primary cancers? How can all this happen to one person and why should he, and our family, have to endure so much? I have had so much anger and yelled, "it's not fair!" so many times.
But I've learned not to let anger take over my life. I've learned, as so many others on this site have learned, to live for the day and be thankful for all we've been blessed with (3 beautiful daughters, 6 wonderful grandchildren, and 39 years of happy memories)--and the hope (there is always hope) of a cure and much more time together.
Please don't lose hope for your mom. There is so much out there that may help her. Read all the info on this site and check out all your options. Make sure your mother's doctors are helping you fight this disease. There are some doctors who think that, since there is no known cure, there is no reason to do chemo or any other treatments. Don't settle for this. Find a doctor who will work with you to find a treatment that may help your mom--who will cheer your successes, however small, and encourage you to fight. And stay on this site and read the stories about the amazing people who are fighting the battle and sharing their stories so that others may be encouraged to continue their fight. They are all so brave and such inspirations to all of us.
A doctor once told us that he believes that a positive attitude is 99% of the cure. After seeing my husband battle cancer 3 times, all the while never doubting he would survive, I believe this is true. That, and our faith in God, has seen us through these trials and will continue to do so. Do I still get angry? You bet! But not for long-- we have too much to be thankful for and lots of life to enjoy to stay mad.
I'll pray for your Mom, as I do for everyone on this wonderful site. God bless!