Topic: It's been three months...

....since my heart was broken. My dear husband and best friend left me on Nov. 18th., 2011. It still feels very surreal. I think back to all of our 32 years together and I never once thought, even after he was diagnosed that this would really happen. Being a widow at 54 was never contemplated. As others have said in their posts, it's hard to imagine being "single' again when you've been part of someone else's life for so long. There are so many things to get used to, I don't know if you ever really can. I had surgery to replace my knee on Feb. 7th.I'm doing fine but I really miss Tom being here to help me through this. My kids and family have been great but it's just not the same. I miss him so much. I think it will be better when Spring comes but then I will be like Darla and have to greet customers and tell them Tom is gone. Everyone that bought plants and produce from us loved talking to him. Most local people already know but we have a lot of out of town "regulars" and I hate the idea of having to go through these emotions over and over. A relative brought me a story from Ladies Home Journal about Patrick Swayze's wife and her life since losing him. She thought our experiences were almost identical to theirs and she was right. His widow said after two years she is just starting to get up every day and not think that her life sucks.  I honestly understand her sentiments. I just hope it is better in two years.
  I hope everyone is doing well. I'm physically fine. Trying to get through therapy. I was my therapist's MIP last week, ( most improved patient). I need to get well soon so I'm very motivated! Take care all,
                                          Love, Mary

Re: It's been three months...

Mary, Mary, I am so happy you went through the knee surgery and are healing well. If only we could heal like that after loosing such wonderful husbands. It just takes time and you went from loosing Tom to having surgery, so I say give Mary a chance. Your 'customers' can also bring you nice memories and after the first greeting you may be very surprised. You might talking about Tom with them. After 1 year and 2 months, I still love to talk about Teddy to whom ever will listen. Do what ever is comfortable for you, everyone grieves in different ways. It was good to get an update from you as I think of you and was wondering how you are doing.
Be strong, Mary, while you are developing your new normal!

When God solves my problems I have faith in his abilities, when he doesn't solve my problems he has faith in my abilities!

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.

Re: It's been three months...

Bless you, Mary and I know it must be so hard for you right now. I hope things get easier for you and you even begin to enjoy talking about your dear Tom and the wonderful life you had together. Please know that we all care about you and wish you the best. Take care.

Love, -Pam

My beautiful daughter, Lauren Patrice, will live on in my heart forever.

My comments, suggestions, and opinions are based on my experience as a caretaker for my daughter, Lauren and from reading anything I can get my hands on about Cholangiocarcinoma. Please consult a physician for professional guidance.

Re: It's been three months...

Dear Mary,

I have been thinking of you and wondering how you are doing.  I was glad to see your post and yes, I do know how you are feeling.  Jim & I always thought we would be there for each other and now I like you will not have him here to help and support me if and when things come up.  I guess I never thought I would be dealing with life alone, either. As you said, there are others who can be there for us, but it is just not the same.  Unfortunately life goes on and we have to deal with it.  It will be hard at first dealing with those who don't know.  All I can tell you is that it does get a little easier with time.  It still hurts, it still makes me sad, but I have learned to handle it all better.   I guess the one good thing about it all is having something to do and keep us busy helps.  I wouldn't do well just sitting around 24/7 feeling sorry for myself.

Someone told me this and I like to pass it on.

You'll never know how strong you are until strong is the only choice you have.

As time goes by you will find that is so true.

Know that I am thinking of you and share our common loss.  Take care Mary.  Good to hear from you.

Love & Hugs,
Darla

"One Day At A Time"

All of my comments and suggestions are just my opinions and are not a substitute for professional medical advice.   You should always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care providers.

Re: It's been three months...

Mary....I also have been thinking of you - can you feel it?
Generally it is our Lainy posting beautiful poems, but today I also would like to share something I came across on February 7th.  Five years prior I lost my sweet husband to this disease. 

Is That You?

© Robyn O'Rourke

Is That You?
The falling star in the night
So pure, so bright.

Is That You?
The breeze gently blowing through my hair
Telling me that you are still there.

Is That You?
The golden ball rising in the East
Bringing hope that a new day, the sorrow will ease.

Is That You?
Setting in the West
Bringing a night of peace and rest.

Is That You?
Who dries my tears
As I gaze towards my future fears.

Is That You?
That makes me smile at life's irony
That other people often cannot see.

Is That You?
That gives me strength to carry on
Even though you are gone.

Is That You?
Yes. It is you. Your are with me always.

Hugs and love,
Marion

THIS INFORMATION IS NOT INTENDED NOR IMPLIED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL MEDICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD ALWAYS SEEK THE ADVICE OF YOUR PHYSICIAN OR OTHER QUALIFIED HEALTH CARE PROVIDER

Re: It's been three months...

Marion, that is just beautiful and it really is the truth!

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.

Re: It's been three months...

Marion,

That is beautiful and oh so true.  Thanks for posting this.  I'm sure it will be comforting to so many.

Love & Hugs,
Darla

"One Day At A Time"

All of my comments and suggestions are just my opinions and are not a substitute for professional medical advice.   You should always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care providers.