Tonya: Having just gone through this with my husband, all I can say is that you will know when it's time to call hospice. My husband Tom started to go 'downhill' on the Monday before he passed. First I noticed that his urine output was way down and he just did not look good and was very weak. I called his doc and got him in for an appointment that day. He was hospitalized and his doc didn't like his color. He said he looked 'gray' or 'ashen'. On Tuesday Tom said it was time to call all the kids. On Wed he said "I want to go home, I will NOT die in this hospital". He came home on Thursday and 'Pallative care' people were here by 2pm. I told them that he didn't need Pallative care, he needed Hospice. They agreed and sent the hospice team in. Tom's kidney's had basically stopped working and he passed away peacefully at home on Sunday. The time frame is exactly what they say when the kidney's fail, 7 days.
I'm glad that he was at home when he passed. Alebit it was very sad, but very peaceful as well. He knew he ws with the person that meant the most to him. Two of my daughters, my son in law and three of my grandchildren were here with him when he passed. (His own children were not here).
It's always a hard decision to make. Tom and I could have had hospice coming in much earlier, but in Tom's mind it was 'giving up' and he never wanted to give up. In the end, I made the call. The last 3 times he was hospitalized, we had a DNR on him. He did not want to live if he could not have his quality of life. I'm the same way and all my children know that.
Hospice can be a wonderful experience and it was for me. The ladies were very caring, came within a 1/2 hour if I called them.
My heart goes out to you and your family. I know this is not easy to go through.
Love and Hugs,