Topic: started a new blog

I also started a new blog, really just for me and a couple close friends who might want to know how I am really doing. I have no expectations for anyone to read it but I wanted to write to capture how I am feeling and coping throughout this journey. My mother was diagnosed 1 month and 4 days ago and I am already learning so much about cancer, about nutrition, about myself, about my friends and family and support system. My blog is: dandelionrootss@wordpress.com.
(warning: there's some swearing already and there promises to be more in the future)

Re: started a new blog

Melissa I could not open the blog but as to the swearing, I believe we have earned the right to say what ever we want! Who ever knew we would become pros at of a rare Cancer called CC? I say I graduated from CC 101! I also think the more you learn the more one realizes how very special everyone on this site is!

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.

3 (edited by melissapalma Thu, 17 May 2012 20:43:19)

Re: started a new blog

Thanks Lainy. Did it say phishing alert? I just tried it too and it popped up saying that but then I hit "ignore warning' and it went to my page. Can you try going to wordpress.com and then looking it up? Or do you need to create a name and password to even check it?

At any rate, thank you for your interest in my experience.

-Melissa

Re: started a new blog

Nope. It just wouldn't do anything. Gee and I was hoping to see you swear!

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.

Re: started a new blog

Hi Melissa,

I tried to look at your blog too, but it wouldn't work. Sorry. Let us know if you figure it out. Thanks.

My beautiful daughter, Lauren Patrice, will live on in my heart forever.

My comments, suggestions, and opinions are based on my experience as a caretaker for my daughter, Lauren and from reading anything I can get my hands on about Cholangiocarcinoma. Please consult a physician for professional guidance.

Re: started a new blog

Oops. Typed it wrong. Try this. http://dandelionrootss.wordpress.com/

Re: started a new blog

That worked!  Thanks Melissa.

My beautiful daughter, Lauren Patrice, will live on in my heart forever.

My comments, suggestions, and opinions are based on my experience as a caretaker for my daughter, Lauren and from reading anything I can get my hands on about Cholangiocarcinoma. Please consult a physician for professional guidance.

Re: started a new blog

Got it! You say it like it is and that is good, I like that. When my Teddy first got sick
we were not in to the Blogs and such as yet and I think its a great way to vent. I used to get in the car and drive, put on the Mama Mia CD from the Broadway play and sing until my throat hurt. Good therapy and I didn't care if people thought I was crazy.  Then I would go back home like nothing was wrong, feeling fine. What ever works, I say.

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.

Re: started a new blog

Thank you, Melissa. It's great!! Please swear on - its good therapy for me, too smile

“When it is dark enough, you can see the stars." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Re: started a new blog

More swearing today. How do you not be in denial? What do you have to do to work through it?

Re: started a new blog

Melissa you have to try very hard to take one day at a time. If need be one hour at a time. We are all different and handle things in different ways. For me the stronger I was, the stronger I became. At times I told myself this is not about me and I must be strong to help get Teddy through whatever he had to do. Know what? Just before his final prognosis I also got my own rare stomach Cancer. Had surgery and was in the hospital for 1 week, and I hoped and prayed he would be OK for that week. Making myself strong for him got me through what I had to do for me probably better than I would have done. Oh, I am not saying I didn't have my moments, but they were very private. I would get in the car, drive and sing songs from Mama Mia on the CD so loud my throat would get sore. Surprised I didn't cause any accidents. But then I was able to come home renewed and start over again. Also a Massage here and there worked wonders or even a lunch out with the girls. Of course as time got closer I wouldn't leave Teddy's side.  You never know how strong you are until "strong" is the only choice you have!

Tough times never last, tough people do!

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.

Re: started a new blog

You have a very good writing style Melissa. It helps to get the frustration and fear out there through writing.

Deb xxx

"The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares." [Henri Nouwen]

Re: started a new blog

Lainy, I appreciate your response. It makes me think about how I define "strength". When my mom was raising me, I was taught this very powerful lesson that being strong meant not showing emotion or asking for help. In my house, the more independent I was, the stronger I was. So asking for help or support or showing big emotions were therefore signs of weakness. In my 20s and 30s, I made great friends and husband who helped teach me a different way of looking at emotions and strength. They helped me realize that asking for help is actually very strong. I just turned 40 in January and I now believe that expressing our full emotions is healthy and not to be feared. Feelings come and go so when I feel scared or mad or sad, then I should feel that fully, let those feelings come and trust that they will wash over me and be gone, making room for happiness. So I want to feel all of this fully but think I am stuck in denial because of my care-taking responsibilities.

Deb, thanks for the compliment. I am a certified English teacher and have written poetry and journaled for most of my life. So I appreciate your comment!