Topic: Lost my husband Rick, what to expect in the final stage
Rick was diagnosed in Feb 07, and it was a long year. He started chemo and that was short lived. We had researched and found chemo to be more harm than good with this particular type of cancer (when questioned the doc finally says "its all we can offer") So he chose good diet and living fully until he could not , and we sure had a good fun filled summer. After his stent to the bile duct, he got most of his energy and weight back. Ahh but the cancer does have its way. He started failing about Oct, and luckily it was quick. Weakness, loss of appetite, abdominal swellig and later acites, more weight loss and weakness, then the inability to eat at all. more weakness, I could not lift him, shower etc. Thank God for good family and friends. I found Hospice to be little or no help, I will post about that later. I did not do research on them, as everyone says they are wonderful. Not so for me. Now I am knee deep in the business end, funeral arrangements or I should say party , celebration planning. Everyone needs death certificates! Its hard to grieve and do all this too. After his death family came in waves and it seemed all I did was entertain when I wanted to veg out. I finally said Im going to the barn and left them, but when I came in another group was there. So I was exhaused and I know they were trying to be there for me and respected that.... I am getting thru it, and just cant believe I am awidow at 54. It is very scary even tho I have been very self sufficient.
If anyone has any questions about what happens toward the end (as I did ) please ask. For you who have not been there, everyone is different but I could have used more Heads UP (hospice was not helpful for me one bit) It gets lonely at night, but I am filling my evenings up with lot s of things to do and that helps. This site is so helpful, it was a Godsend to me.