Topic: About the Widows Walk
I lost my husband about 2 1/2 weeks ago. He battled intrahepatic CC for 9 months. Today would have been our 45th wedding anniversary. USAA sent me some booklets on grieving, etc. One phamplet is titled About the Widows walk. I thought I would copy it here in hopes that it helps those who have lost a husband. This is how it goes.
Along the seacoasts of our country you can still see examples of the small observation platforms built atop Early American homes. From this vantage point one could watch for ships returning to harbor. In those days a large segment of the population was involved in the whaling industry and other maritime activities. Many men's lives were lost as some ships never returned to port, and others that did reported crew members dead or missing. Thus the lookout became known as the widow's walk because so many women were widowed by the sea.
Each of us who has lost a mate will spend a time on the widow's walk. Now you are pacing that walkway, searching for the ship that sailed out of your life. Without your captain and without a map you are facing the vast horizon of your own uncharted future. For me, it was a distant and intimidating view. Eventually I discovered within myself as you will discover within yourself a compass I did not know I had until I needed it. In my own widowhood and in preparing this booklet I found no ways avoid the widow's walk. It is a passage each of us who has been left behind will make. I did learn ways to shorten the journey and to ease the worrow along the way. And I want to share them with you.
This introduction of this phamplet brought tears to my eyes. I know I must learn to stand on my own two feet. How I will do that I do not know. But I have no choice. The only peace I find is that I know my husband is in a better place. He is no longer suffering. Now I must find my compass so that he knows I will be ok.
I hope this will help some of you out there. We have no choice, but to learn how to survive.