New To This Site--Lost My Husband, Neil, To CC

Dear 4neil,

My heart breaks for you. You must heal yourself first and let your anger go. Your husband would want you to be happy. Many of us or our loved ones have been misdiagnosed at first. My daughter was told by the first doctor she saw that she had a large chest and her pain was from bad posture. He wanted her to do physical therapy. Four months later, she felt worse and in her gut knew she had cancer. It was confirmed almost six months after the first symptoms. I always wonder if things would've been different had she been diagnosed earlier. What I learned from that experience is to question everything and I do. I don't care how much of a pain a doctor thinks I am. The thing that sticks out to me is that pain medicine was withheld from your husband. I don't think that is right at all. If you feel things were not handled correctly, maybe you should speak to a laywer. Otherwise, accept that you did everything in your power to help him and begin to heal from this horrible ordeal. Nobody should have to go through what you and your husband did.

Love, -Pam

4Neil,
Just want you to know that my prayers and thoughts are with you as you begin to put life back in order. I have this disease myself but I cannot imagine the feelings you had to go through in such a short period of time.

I spent considerable time yesterday just sitting in the shade in my backyard, feeling a little bit of a breeze, listening to the animals, birds chattering, horses chewing hay, chickens scratching in the dirt. It was truly peaceful and wonderful.

Take some time to sit and ponder the great times, feel the breeze and listen to the birds.

God bless you.

Thank you all so much for the replies to my post--I appreciate every word.  Some of you suggested that I speak to a lawyer, but, I have already traveled that road with no success.  My probate lawyer, who was a friend of my husband's, insisted that I talk to a lawyer friend of his in Cleveland.  After reading Neil's medical records, and the reports of what happened at the Cleveland Clinic, he said that he could not pursue a case against them due to the fact that it would cost too much to sue, and that there was a slim chance of winning due to Neil's advanced cancer when he was injured.  In other words, if you arrive at the Cleveland Clinic with advanced cancer, they can injure you in any way they want to, because they know most lawyers will not spend the necessary money to sue them.  They used Neil as a "guinea pig" to perform numerous tests such as a colonoscopy (which caused him to bleed profusely), an endoscopy, kidney dialysis, a feeding tube--all without much pain medication.  My husband had huge, bearpaw hands that were tied down at the end of his life.  No one should have to die that way, but, the clinic treated him as if he were just a room number--not a beloved husband, father, and grandfather.  Neil was an avid Lake Erie fisherman, and I always worried about him when he was on the lake--I think it is ironic that he lost his life not on the water, but on the shore in the Cleveland Clinic.   Thanks for listening...