Topic: Missing My Sister
My sister, Suzanne McClure, passed away February 17, 2012. She was diagnosed in July 2008, and I feel so fortunate that we had almost 4 full years with her before she lost her battle with cc. Immediately after she passed away, and for a couple of weeks after that, I felt a sense of relief for her - I was with her when she passed and I was relieved she no longer had to deal with CC and all the things associated with it. My problem now is that there is such a huge hole in my life and I don't know how I'm supposed to go on day to day without her! Now, don't get me wrong - I'm not suicidal or anything like that, but I just never gave any in-depth thought to how my life was going to be after her passing. When my Dad passed away in 2012, I didn't think I could ever be any sadder than I was then, but there is something about losing a sister that creates a completely different kind of sadness. Maybe it's because she was younger than me, and the baby of the family, but I truly never realized how much our lives were intertwined (even though we lived 3 hours away) and how close we actually were until I could no longer pick up the phone when I heard a song that I thought she might like, or I needed to bounce something off of her so she could give me her opinion. I still actually go for the phone when I think of something I want to say. My sadness is so profound, that even I am in awe of it - I didn't think it was possible to have this type of sadness lurking in the background all the time! I know that time will heal much of what I'm feeling right now, and I will certainly be glad when that time comes! I loved my sister so much and would have gladly traded places with her. She was beautiful, smart and funny - I have no idea why she had to get this awful thing, and I probably should just stop trying to figure it out - there are no answers. Does anyone have any tips on how to deal with the extreme sadness until time can help?