• eli
  • eli
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  • From: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
  • Registered: Tue, 08 Nov 2011
  • Posts: 575

Topic: Mom diagnosed with colon cancer

I got the news from my dad that mom had been diagnosed with colon cancer. Mom is 78, dad is 84, they had their 50th anniversary early in May.

Mom felt anemic for the last few months. She finally went to see a doctor in June. Doctor ordered a number of tests, including colonoscopy. The colonoscopy found a tumor. Biopsy confirmed that it's cancer. That's all I know at the moment. Mom is going for a scan in a few days. I guess we will find out more once the scan results are back. Tumor stage, surgery options, etc.

The news sapped all energy out of me. First my wife, now my mom. I feel chewed and spit out. No emotions. Just numbness.

  • Lainy
  • Lainy
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  • From: Phoenix AZ
  • Registered: Fri, 13 Jan 2006
  • Posts: 8,313

Re: Mom diagnosed with colon cancer

Eli, I am so sorry aout your Mom. I know it's hard to stay positive until you know more. 3 years ago October, 1 year before Teddy passed, I also had Cancer but it was called a GIST Tumor (Gastro Intestional Stromal Tumor) very rare like CC. Also reacts like CC. It was 10cm and on the other side I had an 8cm benign tumor in the intestine. I was 70 then and I did just fine. Not a walk in the park but still not as bad as I thought it would be. They say life is like a bowl of cherries, but sometimes you wonder why all the good people keep getting all the pits. We are all here for you no matter who the sick one is as we are one family here.

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.

3 Reply by PCL1029 (edited by PCL1029 Sat, 21 Jul 2012 13:59:07)

  • Registered: Fri, 15 Oct 2010
  • Posts: 1,777

Re: Mom diagnosed with colon cancer

Hi, Eli,

Sorry is not the word I will use to comfort you; I am just speechless that it seems the unfavorable matters always comes to the good,unselfish  and caring people like you.
Even you can handle all the adversities for your wife during her illness,you are  one of the only few members that continue to do research for other members objectively and constructively for this web site  in addition to care for your wife and kids. You do  give much much more to our members than you have received from this web site. and now this; it is just too much.

Eli, all I can say is I have no explanation for such unfair occurrence for such a valuable member on this board like you. but I will continue to pray for you,your wife and now your mom and keep them in my prayer.
Sometimes,Eli, I just don't know what to do even though we seems to know what to do ; But if you need any info that you cannot get assess to; I will open my resources for you; (ie; current articles;my medical contacts as well;ect.) .
In doing so, I hope you will know that you are not alone in such unbelievable ordeal and you can count on me as a friend when you are in need of such.
May God give you strength to care for all your needs;enough time for your rest too.
God bless.

Please know that my personal opinion is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice. If  provided, information are for educational purposes.Consult doctor is a MUST for changing of treatment plans.
  • From: Revelstoke BC
  • Registered: Sat, 01 Jan 2011
  • Posts: 552

Re: Mom diagnosed with colon cancer

Dear Eli, I was so sorry to read this news. I am sending lots of positive thoughts that it was found early and that surgery is an option. My good neighbour is 16 years cancer free after stage 3 colon cancer.
Sorry for your family to get a double whammy. I like Lainy's cherries analogy! Sending lots of hugs to the whole family. Nancy

Loving my husband from afar.
  • Registered: Fri, 12 May 2006
  • Posts: 8,312

Re: Mom diagnosed with colon cancer

Eli…Do you ever find yourself wanting to turn off bad news so that your stress level will not shoot into the stratosphere?  Certainly, I have been there plenty of times.

We want life to be predictable and safe and yet, at times, when hit with an avalanche of bad news, our defense comes down and triggers our anxiety. 

You have shown extraordinary strengths and determination with the diagnoses of your wife’s illness.  And, that is what you will draw from, dear Eli.   

Try to remember that there are times when brilliant wisdom does not penetrate our mind, but that we are guaranteed for each new day to gain new strengths and new thoughts,

This brings to mind a quote by Eleanor Roosevelt:  We are like teabags.  We don’t know our true strengths until we are in hot water. 

Know that a tidal wave of hugs are heading your way,
Marion

THIS INFORMATION IS NOT INTENDED NOR IMPLIED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL MEDICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD ALWAYS SEEK THE ADVICE OF YOUR PHYSICIAN OR OTHER QUALIFIED HEALTH CARE PROVIDER
  • eli
  • eli
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  • From: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
  • Registered: Tue, 08 Nov 2011
  • Posts: 575

Re: Mom diagnosed with colon cancer

Lainy, Percy, Nancy and Marion: thank you for your kind words of wisdom.

I'm doing my best to stay positive. Realistically optimistic, as Lainy likes to say. I looked up 5 year survival stats for colon cancer. Early stage stats are *amazingly* good. Later stage stats are not as good but still pretty decent. We just need to wait for the scan and hope it rules out metastatic cancer.

Percy: you are way too kind. I don't deserve the praises you heaped on me. Thank you for your kind offer to open up your research resources. I will be sure to contact you if I need to look up information.

BTW, mom and dad live in Israel. I'm not going to be an active caregiver for mom. My role is to cheerlead from a distance and maybe share some practical tips I learned while caring for my wife. I'm very fortunate that my sister lives about an hour from mom and dad. She goes to doctor appointments and helps navigate the medical system. They also have a social worker who comes in twice a week to help with cleaning and cooking. Once I know more about mom's treatment plan, I will try to figure out the right time to fly there for a couple of weeks. Marina is very supportive of me going there to visit.

Thank you so much again for your support.

  • Registered: Sun, 14 Aug 2011
  • Posts: 178

Re: Mom diagnosed with colon cancer

Hi Eli,

I am so sorry to hear about your mom.  It's enough dealing with your wife's illness, then to have this happen.  You appear to be a very strong person so I have complete faith that you will know how to handle this situation, too.  I know when John was first diagnosed my dad had been diagnosed with a very aggressive melanoma.  My mom also had alzheimers and was in a nursing home, so sometimes we don't have a choice but to accept what is and take one day at a time.   I will keep you and your family in my prayers and hope that the scans will bring better news.  Hugs,  PeggyP

  • From: Uniontown, Ohio
  • Registered: Fri, 23 Sep 2011
  • Posts: 1,500

Re: Mom diagnosed with colon cancer

Dear Eli,

I am so sorry to hear about your Mom. It must be so hard for you to deal with. But, knowing how you are, you will study up on every piece of literature there is on colon cancer to help your dear Mom. My prayers go out to your Mom, you, and your family. Take care and know we are all behind you to offer support.

Love, -Pam

My beautiful daughter, Lauren Patrice, will live on in my heart forever.

My comments, suggestions, and opinions are based on my experience as a caretaker for my daughter, Lauren and from reading anything I can get my hands on about Cholangiocarcinoma. Please consult a physician for professional guidance.

Pamela's Website

  • Gavin
  • Gavin
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  • From: Scotland - Dundee
  • Registered: Tue, 23 Sep 2008
  • Posts: 5,048

Re: Mom diagnosed with colon cancer

Eli,

I'm real sorry to hear about your mum. I wish that there was something that I could say that would help at times like these.  I do know that you will find the strength that you need right now to continue to care for your wife and also cheerlead your mum from a distance as you say. That is good that your sister lives close to your parents and I am sure that you will do everything possible that you can to help them all.

And remember Eli that we are all here for you as well. Tons and tons of positive thoughts coming your way from over here.

Stay strong Eli,

Gavin

  • Registered: Mon, 27 Jun 2011
  • Posts: 440

Re: Mom diagnosed with colon cancer

Eli,

I'm very sorry to hear of your mom's diagnosis.  Please keep us posted when you know more information.  I wish I had more words of wisdom to share with you, but as you already know, life just isn't fair sometimes.  And sometimes, it seems the worst things happen to the nicest people.   I will pray for your mom.  You are a very strong and intelligent person and your family is lucky to have you.

Best wishes,

Susie

11 Reply by Darla (edited by Darla Mon, 23 Jul 2012 08:39:20)

  • From: Wisconsin
  • Registered: Sun, 07 Sep 2008
  • Posts: 1,996

Re: Mom diagnosed with colon cancer

Oh Eli,

I too am sorry to hear of this most recent development with your mom.  As we all know here, life is not always fair and it seems like those of us who have dealt with CC are also often  hit with other situations.  Sometimes it seems like it is all more than we can handle, but you do have a great attitude and seem to be a strong person as you deal with all of this.  Know that we are all here to help and support you in any way we can.  Thinking of you.

Love & Hugs,
Darla

"One Day At A Time"
  • eli
  • eli
  • Legend
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  • From: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
  • Registered: Tue, 08 Nov 2011
  • Posts: 575

Re: Mom diagnosed with colon cancer

Thank you so much, everyone, for your messages of support. You are all amazing!

Peggy:

It's unbelievable what you went through with John's CC, dad's melanoma and mom's Alzheimer's. Life is so unfair that one person has to endure so much. You are a true hero. And you are so right when you said to take one day at a time. That's one of the main lessons I learned in the last year.

Liz:

I'm very sorry to hear about your dad's tumor. Brain surgery is a scary prospect. You mentioned "unknown etiology". What exactly does that mean? Do they know if it's benign or not? Dig deep for the strength to get you through this. My best wishes to you and your entire family.

Hugs to all,
Eli

  • From: NSW,Australia
  • Registered: Sat, 14 Feb 2009
  • Posts: 562

Re: Mom diagnosed with colon cancer

Eli
    sorry to hear about your mum,it is uncanny how things can be thrown at us one after the other and we go with the flow dealing with it all and its only when we look back that we think !!! how did we survive that?....but we do and we keep giving back to others and thats life really...
                                     good luck       Janet

  • From: monmouth junction, nj
  • Registered: Sat, 05 May 2012
  • Posts: 51

Re: Mom diagnosed with colon cancer

eli,
i can relate to what you're going through: last may my 70-year old mom was DX w/endometrial cancer (found on a routine exam); 2 months later I nearly severed my right index finger in a freak kitchen accident and had to have nerve and tendon surgery (i'm a professional woodwind player!!!), and then a few months later my husband was DX w/cc. it was one huge whammy after the next. right now i'm just trying to live each day and not think about the future--"one day at a time," as they say. I do feel the hand of G-d upon me to comfort me and give me an eternal perspective, but it's still very very rough going. i'm glad we all have this virtual community. i read the posts every day!
audrey (aka betzeegirl)