Topic: My hero

After suffering with pain under her breast and vommitting for three months, My  mom was diagnosed with cc on Dec 21 2011.  She went to specialists and in n  out  of ER and nothing was discovered.  My dad finally got upset and took her to another hospital 45 min away. She was admitted after a long 12 hrs in the Er.. all the test were taken and The doc told us she had stage 4 cc. How they all missed it he dosent know. She has one tumor on her rt side as big as two fist, one in the middle as big as a small orange and 18 small ones on the left side of her liver! How can all those time she went to doc, specialists, and ER they miss that! Doc said there was nothing to be done. He explained everything to detail to us and chemo was the only thing to do. Pulling me aside he told me my mom had 6 to 9 months and she was going to get really sick. He mentioned a 10% chance she can live longer but only her and the lord know her outcome. I did not mention this to her only my 3 brothers and wives. Dad only knows 10% but not by me. How does a daughter tell her dad wht the doc said? He blames himself for her cc because she such and angel and did everything for everyone else! Its now 7 months with gem and cisp chemo. shes weaker then ever. she uses a wheel chair, dosent eat much, constantly vommitting and dosent want to do chemo. Last week the doc discovered her kidney level were too high. she was taken off chemo and now being pushed with lots of fluids.. Even tho doc said she she was gonna get worse i still dont like seeing her this way. I have been really strong for my dad and brothers. I dont want to lose my best friend. I dont want to be selfish either. I see her and i think she is going into depression and she doesnt want to do chemo cus she says its killing her... Feeling kinda lost? This site has helped me. Although every one is different, what should i expect?

Re: My hero

Hi Teapot.  I'm so sorry to hear about your mom.  My mom past away last Thursday due to this dreadful disease.  She too was my best friend.  A couple of days before she past, her kidney levels were going up.  We had been thinking about hospice for a week or two prior, but we kept getting different opinions from the doctors.  The hospitalist kept telling us she wasn't going to get better and that we should consider hospice.  The oncologist didn't agree and said that since they couldn't find any active cancer, that they felt she had a chance to recover and could lead a good quality of life.  At this point, she had cirrhosis of the liver (not sure how that happen), weighed 84 lbs, and had a feeding tube.  On her last day, we had asked for hospice.  But it was too late, she had passed that morning. Looking back, we wished we had called in hospice a lot sooner.  I've heard wonderful things about them.  The most important thing you can do is keep her as comfortable as possible.  This disease is really such a roller coaster ride.  I know how difficult it is to watch your mother go through this.  My sisters and brother struggled taking care of our mother and watching her be so sick.  She was surrounded by love throughout her illness.  My heart goes out to you and your family.  I will be praying for you.  God Bless, Mona

Re: My hero

Dear Teapot, welcome to our remarkable family but sorry you had to find us. May I ask if your Mom has any other physical problems and how old she is? Your Dad did all the correct things especially to get the other opinion. So, first of all a patient is the one, whenever possible, to make the decision of to chemo or not. It is a tough one but if we listen to our gut feelings we are usually right. Next, Hospice will come out for a year if needed, they just increase their visits as needed. We try to not think of Hospice as 'the end' but a way of making our loved ones more comfortable. It gives us more quality time and energy to be with them. Bottom line should always be the patient's comfort. Next, your Dad has a right to know what is happening as he will be wanting to prepare himself and her and spend what ever time they have be it long or short, to just love each other. Perhaps a family meeting would be in order to discuss everything. Please feel free to e mail me if you want to discuss further, I will be happy to help. lainy65@yahoo.com.  Sending you and your family all my best.

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.

Re: My hero

Texaslady sorry to hear bout your mom. No one has mentioned Hospice yet. Im not even sure I understand what it is?

LAINY, My mom has no other physical problems. She just turned 56. She is able to do all the basic thing like feed,shower, use restroom, etc.. She was able to use a cane to walk but now her legs are weak and tend to buckle on her at times so she uses a wheelchair. As for physical activities or daily chores she just doesnt have the strength. Her day is in bed or on the couch watching tv and taking small naps in between. I saw her today and she looked great! The only thing was her weak legs. She is scheduled for a catscan and an ultra sound next week. The onocologist will give her results on thurs and the nephologist on fri for kidneys... Thanks for your concern. I would still like to learn more about cc so i can keep my family in tune althogh i know everyone handles it differently....