Topic: I'm missing Ed terribly
This is my first post since February. We lost Ed on June 12th-12 weeks ago tomorrow. He fought so hard and never gave up. He was still trying to take chemo to fight this terrible cancer and never gave in to calling in hospice. He took a sudden turn on Memorial Day weekend and we finally called in hospice on June 8th. He passed away in my arms, at our home. I love him with all my heart. We were married 27 years, divorced in 2009 for a little over a year when we got back together in 2010. He was diagnosed in June 2011. He was my love since I was 20 and I will be 51 this month. I am so lost without him. I can't imagine being with anyone else. I was with the same man for 31 years. Our first grandchild was born in July. Ed missed it by 6 weeks. Our youngest child is getting married in October. Ed promised he would be here to walk her down the aisle. I know he will be there. He was so handsome and so young-only 53. I will be totally alone soon. I miss him so badly. Last night at about 1:00, I was watching a movie and a significant part came on that made me think of him. My cellphone lit up on my night stand. I stared thinking a text message would come through or a call, but nothing. I think it was him. I would love to hold him one more time and stroke his face, just one more time. Being a caregiver is hard, but he tried to make it easier on me. I would do it all again and again, if I just had the chance. I am doing "okay", but the pain of missing him is truly physical. I feel like someone punches me in the gut from time to time. I really know what a broken heart feels like now.