Topic: Happy and Heartbroken
I have not written in a while but get on every so often to check on everyone or to see if my experiences can help. Mom has been gone a little over a year now, and dad has moved 9 hours away. Fortunately, my sister who will be 22 soon moved in with my husband, me, and my daughter who will be 3 soon. She moved in shortly after my mom dad while attending college and I thought it would be good for the both of us to always have someone right there when we needed to laugh, cry or a hug.
I've been stuggling with my feelings a little lately which isn't normal for me. Momma always taught me to look on the bright side of things and that someone somewhere else always has it worse. Be thankful for the people and things in your life. My husband and I have found out recently that we are expecting baby #2 in May!!!
There have been so many things i just want to call momma about to tell her, share with her. We always used to talk 1-3 times a day, she would send me emails from 4am when she couldn't sleep or was just up drinking coffee. I try so hard to be a good mother and a good wife like the example she set...and sometimes I just feel like its not good enough. Not because my husband or daughter say so, but just because I need her encouragement, her warm hug to tell me I'm doing fine.
Since I've found out we are expecting again, all I do is cry. I should be happy...and I am...but I cant stand that she wont be here to experience it all with me like last time. I am blessed beyond measure with a loving husband, beautiful daughter, wonderful daddy and a best friend of a sister.
I've "dealt" with everything fairly well this long..why am I having such a hard time now?
As always, thank you for your advice. It amazes me to have such a wonderful group of friends.
"I'll Be" Momma - 8.10.2011