February 7, 2007.
Dear Alla, I so much understand, as I went through the stages of grief, disbelief, yearning, anger, and depression until one day, dear Alla, I found myself accepting that he won’t return. Until the day of his passing I had never known to live one day at a time; to me it was a strange concept and yet much to my surprise I was doing just that. Although, I did not think it be possible I survived the “first” of everything; holidays, birthdays, wedding anniversaries, etc. and to this day I don’t know how it happened – it just happened. I drew a “blank” envisioning my life in the future so I took baby steps - one day at a time - not realizing that already I had been moving into the future without him. We had mastered our world together and that is the absolute greatest loss I had come to accept. Time, dear Alla, it takes time.
Our Dr. Giles wrote: "I would gently suggest to you that the depth of your feelings is a testament to the significance of the place your husband has in your life. The magnitude of your pain and devastation signifies how precious he was to you--and that's a good thing. Please do not hurry through this extremely tender time. Your sorrow is a result of the loss of a good man."
Please know that our Dr. Giles is here for you also – he is here for everyone on this site. You can find him: http://www.cholangiocarcinoma.org/ask.htm
Hugs and love,
THIS INFORMATION IS NOT INTENDED NOR IMPLIED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL MEDICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD ALWAYS SEEK THE ADVICE OF YOUR PHYSICIAN OR OTHER QUALIFIED HEALTH CARE PROVIDER