Topic: 9 months ago

Hi  everyone and thank you for letting me join this site. It was 9 months ago that my dad passed from Cholangiocarcinoma at 79 years old. When dad was diagnosed 5 months prior to his passing I quickly found this site and have been reading ever since. I wanted to know why my dad got this terrible cancer, what could be done and what would happen. I know from the get-go that dads treatment was only going to be palliative. He was so ill when he had his first symptoms and sign that something was wrong, he did try the Chemo route, he had 5 rounds of chemo, but was still not going to get the tumors to shrink, after treatment number 5 Dad's oncologist said to stop the treatments it was doing more harm than good. Dad was home the whole time he was sick, He never wanted to go to a nursing home or a facility and wanted to be in his home, My sister and I promised him that we would take care of him in his home. (Our mother had passed 20 years earlier) so it was up to us to take care of him. My older brother lives out of state and could not be with dad as much as my sister and I could. I guess with the holidays coming, I am having a pitty party for myself and just needed a place to vent. Dad and I were oh so close and in the last few days. I told him it was ok to let go, It was ok for him to go Lindy with mom again. We had Hospice start the week before dad passed, and it was a good experience, the little book they give on the process of dying was pretty much right on. I am glad I had the last 5 months to really talk with dad, when he left i was at peace I had no  unresolved issues , no unanswered questions, and no remose for the time I had with him. Dad and i were very close and he allowed me to be even closer in his last weeks. I miss him so much especially around the holidays, Thanksgiving was one of Dad's favorite. I am making the traditional fest next week and I am sure he will be proud. I will leave a glass of wine on the table in honor of him. Thanks for letting me vent.

I pray for all those who are suffering from this terrible disease, and for those who have passed or have lost someone to cancer. I guess somewhere inside all of us there is something to be tankful for at this time of the year.

Re: 9 months ago

inmemoryofdad,

It sounds like you had a very nice relationship with your Dad. I'm sure it will be difficult getting through the holidays without him this year. I know he is very proud of you. Come here and vent whenever you need to. I don't really feel as if you were venting though, just telling your story. It is just so sad that so many good people have to get this bad cancer. I am hoping you get through the holidays ok, but if you break down, that is ok too. I can tell you loved your Dad very much and miss him. All the best to you.

-Pam

My beautiful daughter, Lauren Patrice, will live on in my heart forever.

My comments, suggestions, and opinions are based on my experience as a caretaker for my daughter, Lauren and from reading anything I can get my hands on about Cholangiocarcinoma. Please consult a physician for professional guidance.

Re: 9 months ago

inmemoryofdad, I don't think you are venting, and that would be OK too, it sounds to me like you are remembering some good times. I promise you that eventually your good memories will far outweigh those of the CC. Everyone has a different timing on grief and needs to take their time. I had to chuckle a little when you mentioned the Lindy. My parents lived in to their 90's but loved to dance although their favorite was the Cha Cha! You and your sister did quite a wonderful job as Caretakers and did it right. You should be very proud of yourselves. You know I am always telling members here to talk, talk, talk about everything because it does give one a sense of Peace later. Yes, that Hospice book is very good. My husband was 78 when the time came and he also followed the book to a tee. A glass of wine at the table sounds like a good idea. I think I may go around the table (there will be 10 of us) and have everyone tell a funny story about Teddy. Plese come visit us here anytime, we love hearing from our family.

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.

Re: 9 months ago

Thanks  Lainy and Pam

Re: 9 months ago

inmemoryofdad,

I am sorry you lost your dear dad to this disease, but you seem to have done everything right and are dealing with things as best you can.  I'm glad you decided to join us and tell us your story.

I'm sure dad will be there on Thanksgiving, only in a different way.  He will always be with you in you heart and your memories.

Take care and please come back often and share your feelings with us.   We understand and we care. 

Love & Hugs,
Darla

"One Day At A Time"

All of my comments and suggestions are just my opinions and are not a substitute for professional medical advice.   You should always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care providers.