Topic: Still hard to believe

Hello everyone!  Thought I would come to ya'll in hope of maybe making some sence of my month of December.... Yes less than 1 month!  My dad was diagnosed on December 6th with liver cancer, one week later the oncology doctor changed it to bile duct cancer, December 28th he passed away after a one week stay in hospice!

Jen

Re: Still hard to believe

One question I would have is the death certificate says liver cancer.  Is this maybe why bile cancer is said to be really rare?  Maybe more liver cancer is miss diagnosed.  The doctor original said he first would assume that it was liver until the lab and pathology department came back with bile cancer instead.  Should I try and get the death certificate changed?

Jen

Re: Still hard to believe

Howard...welcome, I am glad that you have come to this board.  We are here to support and help each other through all stages of this disease.  My heart goes out to you to you and dear family.  When a cancer hits at the speed of lightening as it so happened with your dear Dad, it is very difficult to come to terms with the devastation of an almost sudden death. 
We are shocked and stunned and this disruptive loss causes us to suffer the most of extreme feelings of bewilderment.  And, dear Howard, we try to make sense of it all.
Often times things become clearer with understanding of the disease.  It does not take away the pain, but it allows us to focus on something concrete.  And, that in itself can be healing.
Know that we are here for you and that collectively we will work through the unanswered questions as best as we can. 
I am sure that others will chime in real soon and share their thoughts, feelings and experiences with you.
Hugs to you,
Marion

THIS INFORMATION IS NOT INTENDED NOR IMPLIED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL MEDICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD ALWAYS SEEK THE ADVICE OF YOUR PHYSICIAN OR OTHER QUALIFIED HEALTH CARE PROVIDER

Re: Still hard to believe

Howard...most likely it was intrahepatic disease (bile duct cancer in the liver.) So, I would not worry too much about the description itself. 
Hugs,
Marion

THIS INFORMATION IS NOT INTENDED NOR IMPLIED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL MEDICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD ALWAYS SEEK THE ADVICE OF YOUR PHYSICIAN OR OTHER QUALIFIED HEALTH CARE PROVIDER

Re: Still hard to believe

Dear Howard welcome to our Board but I am so very sorry it had to be this way. We often say that at the initial diagnosis one feels as if they have been hit with a bat in the stomach and then to have a loved one decline so quickly is beyone words. I really don't think it matters that much how it is written on the Death Ceritificate  except to the family for future refrences, like generations to come. Please accept my heartfelt condolences.

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.

Re: Still hard to believe

Thank you all so much for the sincere thoughts, and answer to my question.  I knew this would be the place to come to ask it. 

Howards Daughter, JK (Jen)

Jen

Re: Still hard to believe

Ha, ha ...and here we were talking to a male.  Nice to meet you, Jen.
Hugs,
Marion

THIS INFORMATION IS NOT INTENDED NOR IMPLIED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL MEDICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD ALWAYS SEEK THE ADVICE OF YOUR PHYSICIAN OR OTHER QUALIFIED HEALTH CARE PROVIDER

Re: Still hard to believe

LOL, sorry for the confusion.

I might be going about this wrong, though.... Is most everyone on here fighting this cancer?  I hate to bring anyone down by my bad news..... 

Seems to be such a silent killer!  Dad was sick maybe part of November, had a doctors appointment December 10th he was wanting to just wait to go to it! Ugg.... finaly talked him into going to the ER and the short rollercoaster ride began then!  Stage 4 by this point and 24 days later he passed away!  It was so confusing to me the doctors kept talking about bile duct blockage then ended up that there was no blockage and nothing else they could do!

I guess I will be second guessing myself on if there was anything else I should have done or if I could have got him to a doctor sooner!!

Thanks again for listening!

Love and Courage to all!!!

Jen

Re: Still hard to believe

Jen....it is fairly common for us to doubt actions or non-actions and for not recognizing certain symptoms of a disease.  But the reality is that this cancer is known to sneak up on people, it is silent, it mimics other discomforts, and it is difficult to detect in even the best of circumstances.  Many physicians never have heard of Cholangiocarcinoma let alone treat a patient with this cancer.  Jen, you must know that many others lost a loved one to this disease in a very short time after diagnoses or, they are informed of the diagnoses after their loved one has passed. 
And, no, you are not going about this wrong, we are here for everyone.  The members of this site understand, care, and support each other through difficult times, good times, and the in-between times. 
So, stay with us, others will come along real soon and share their thoughts with you also.
Hugs,
Marion

THIS INFORMATION IS NOT INTENDED NOR IMPLIED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL MEDICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD ALWAYS SEEK THE ADVICE OF YOUR PHYSICIAN OR OTHER QUALIFIED HEALTH CARE PROVIDER

Re: Still hard to believe

Jen, please never second guess yourself you did the right thing by taking Dad to ER and not waiting. This CC seems to have a mind of it's own. And yes, you are in the right place to be and feel free to come here anytime to advise, rant or just let off some steam. Sending you best wishes and memories!

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.

Re: Still hard to believe

Dear Jen,
I am so very sorry about your father. It is rather amaing that he did not suffer the effects of the cancer too much before he passed away. You did everything anyone would have done - - it is the silent killer because it sneaks up on you and you just have no idea you have it. None . We all ask and ask ourselves, what did I miss? Wasn't there something I should have noticed? But no, we did not. It is often stage 4 before it is caught.
Never ever worry about bringing anybody "down" here! This is the most supportive and wonderful bunch of folks I have ever found. Ask questions, rant, cry, whatever, we are here to listen.
Condolences, Holly 
(ps my dad's name is John Howard - - always liked that name smile

Re: Still hard to believe

I too would like to share my condolences. I hope you can find comfort and understanding here.

Willow

Re: Still hard to believe

Dear Jen....

I am so sorry to hear the news abvout your dad....shock, confusion....I get all of that...My dad died from a different cancer 6 weeks after diagnosis and I felt much the same way.  Time has a way of healing the disbelief and softenig the shock.

My Mom was diagnosed with intrahepatic about the same time as your dad....and I , too, have been asking myself many of the same questions....what did I miss? Should I have seen something?  The more I research and read on this wonderful board has helped dispell many of my 'woulda, shoulda. coulda's"....This cancer is a creeper.

What it HAS done, for me, is increased my awareness....and made me inteested in increasing awareness...

Hope that you will find some peace and solace in your grief about a good man taken too soon.

Love and prayers.

Deane

Re: Still hard to believe

Hi Jen,

I am very sorry to hear of your Dad's passing. It happened so quickly and I am sure it was so difficult to wrap your head around it. My daughter, Lauren was only 25 when diagnosed with this cancer. There are both caregivers and people with cc on this site. We all come together to share, vent, support, and comfort each other. Please visit as often as you like. We are all here to help each other.

Love and hugs,
-Pam

My beautiful daughter, Lauren Patrice, will live on in my heart forever.

My comments, suggestions, and opinions are based on my experience as a caretaker for my daughter, Lauren and from reading anything I can get my hands on about Cholangiocarcinoma. Please consult a physician for professional guidance.

Re: Still hard to believe

Dear Jen,

I am so sorry for your loss.  Please do not feel you could have or should have done something differently.  With this disease there is no right or wrong.  It is what it is and is different for everyone.  All we can do is the best we can do at the time.   My husband passed away much as your dad.  In less than 2 months time, start to finish.  I try to take comfort in knowing that atleast he did not suffer for very long from this disease and hope you can too.   His was interhepatic and it all went very quickly.  In his case the death certificate did state Cholangiocarcinoma, but at this point I wouldn't worry about that. 

Glad you found us and hope you come back often.  We are all here to listen, help and support each other.  Take care.

Love & Hugs,
Darla

"One Day At A Time"

All of my comments and suggestions are just my opinions and are not a substitute for professional medical advice.   You should always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care providers.

Re: Still hard to believe

Dear Jen,
I am so sorry for your loss. I pray that God gives you peace and comfort during this difficult time.
Hugs,
Lisa

This Information Is Not Intended Nor Implied To Be A Substitute For Professional Medical Advice. You Should Always Seek The Advice Of Your Physician Or Other Qualified Health Care Provider