Topic: our fight time was too short

My partner, my love and and  my life died on March 07, at midnite, after a 4 day fight to conquer the blood flow problems caused by pulmonary embolli that were in turn thrown by the CC tumors. If we could have controlled the embolli, it is my understanding we probably could have contained the tumors growth and spread  - for awhile. And the treatments were so rough for him sometimes, but he was willing and able to continue them, and find ways to keep fighting it. He was working almost up to the end, and still eating well, and doing fun things with the family when not too tired from the struggles of breathlessness and chemo. So take heart those of you that read this on this wonderful site, don't give up, there really are ways to control this vicious monster, I sure wish we had had more time to do it, 12 months was not nearly enough.
For all the other caretakers ourt there, I know how hard it is, but cherish thos precious moments you still have. I will live for a long time with the memory of a certain look, a special smile, and the love we shared for 41 years.
I would start this year over and over again if only I could....
Courage and love to all,

Re: our fight time was too short

Michele -
I am so very sorry for your loss.  May God hold you very close, and may the wonderful memories of your lives together sustain you.

Joni Craighead

Re: our fight time was too short

You have such courage and strength. I too am sorry complications took away your loved one. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Kris

Cancer is a word, not a sentence.

36 year old patient with buckets of hope

Re: our fight time was too short

Michele -

   God give you strength and comfort. I'm so sorry for your loss. Lean on Jesus through this painful time. He will get you through it.

Steve

God give strength to everyone affected by this terrible disease.

Re: our fight time was too short

Michele - I wish I could be there for you; I feel as if we have developed a bond just because your good friends The Crockers are from Demopolis -
small world isn't it.  I am so very sorry to hear about Tom and please, please call me if you ever need to talk.  When you lose your heart and soul, the absolute love of your life, you will need to lean on someone that understands.  Take care of yourself; I'll be here if you ever need me.
Betty Johnson

Re: our fight time was too short

Oh Michele - I am so sorry to hear about Tom, my heart is just breaking for you as the tears roll down my face. I feel like we have been taking this journey together and never wanted to see it end this way for either of us.  Please know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.  I hope that I can have half the courage and strength that you have. - Colleen

Re: our fight time was too short

Michele,

I hope you feel our love and support and prayers. We feel so much for you, right now.

Truly, God Bless,
Brenda

Re: our fight time was too short

Hi Michele,
So sorry to hear about Tom.  It sounds like the complications shortenend what time you should have had. I will pray for you in this hard time.  Joe and I are married 43 years and he has just gotten into real trouble with jaundice and catheters etc.  His spirits are down and althgough I don't think this is the end, if he decides to give up, we will lose the battle.  Please stay on the site and gain support and a place to vent from all the wonderful people here. I am only a caregiver.  I don't know how the actual cc patients visit here and support everyone else.  Take care and God Bless  Mary Anne

Re: our fight time was too short

Michelle-my heart goes to you and family.  There are many days I feel Dave slipping away from me and I don't know if I will have the courage to deal with it.  Please stay with us hear and let support you in whatever way we can.
Patrice

Re: our fight time was too short

Michele,

My thoughts are with you and your family.

G

Re: our fight time was too short

Michele,

i am so sorry for the loss of your sweetheart.  may your heart endure the loss as it retains the love you shared.

barb h

Re: our fight time was too short

Thank you all for your kind words.
Colleen, hang in there, I know how tough this is to hear. Have been anxious for you and Fred too. Just hug him a lot, and take extra time to be with him. I didn't want to miss a minute with Tom, so on some level I must have known it was soon.
Am trying to take this an hour at a time. It has been a week, and I am definitely numb, going through some of the motions, and wondering when it will hit me. It helps to have a lot of family and friends support but mostly it seems  surreal and I am going to seek bereavement counseling soon. The loss seems too big for me to deal with yet, and it seems easier to postpone the reality.
Am not going to leave the site, I found it my lifeline many many times.

Re: our fight time was too short

My heart is with you, Michelle! My husband passed away last May '07. We were married 53 yrs. I continue to read the posts and pray for all those who are suffering from this terrible disease. I know the numbness that you are feeling and the disbelief that your loved one is gone. You will gain strength as time passes, but the tears will come out of nowhere at different times of the day as memories come flooding over you. The important thing, as I have often heard is, don't hang on to the grief -- you have to gain the strength to maintain your health. I always picture how proud my husband would be of me, to see that I am able to smile in memory of him. Time heals, but your heart and mind will hold him forever. I bought a gold chain and put his wedding band on it -- I wear it often.

Re: our fight time was too short

michelle- so sorry fo ryour loss- my prayers and thoughts are with you

becky
blessed are those that are cracked,
for they let in the light!