Topic: wish I had joined earlier

My name is Jules, my dad had cholangiocarcinoma. He was diagnosed in October, had a liver resection on November 8th and went into liver failure which he never recovered from. He died on January 12th. We only had 6 weeks to know that he had cancer before he had surgery.

He was an amazing person and so healthy- I can't believe he is gone. I looked at postings on this site so many times while he was in the hospital but never registered as a member. I kept hoping that this whole nightmare would be a thing of the past. He was going to recover.

The crazy thing is he didnt die of the cancer. The liver resection was successful in that respect- he was cancer free when he died. He never left ICU though.

I have never felt so alone sad

Re: wish I had joined earlier

Hi,
Which hospital your dad get the liver resection and who are the doctors?
Are they liver surgeon or just GI surgeon in general?
This disease required liver specialist (surgeon) to be operated on.It requires skill surgeons who have the dedication, expertise and experiences to handle the task.
Thanks for sharing.
God bless.

Please know that my personal opinion is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice. If  provided, information are for educational purposes.Consult doctor is a MUST for changing of treatment plans.

Re: wish I had joined earlier

Jules...I am so sorry to hear that of your Dad's passing.  Please know that you are not alone - we are here for you, we understand, and we are in this together.
Our Dr. Giles mentioned not to rush through this painful time of mourning, as it is a testimony of the loss of a wonderful human being.  Personally I also have come to believe that the deeper we love - the more we hurt. 

One would think that by stopping to love the person, we would also be able to stop the grief.  But just the opposite appears to be true in that when we talk and remember and still love, we still miss but also learn to live without the person. This is not easy, dear Jules, with time you learn that it doesn't hurt so badly. 

Reach out, dear Jules, to us, to a clergyman, a counselor, a friend and to us.    One day at a time.   

Hugs
Marion

THIS INFORMATION IS NOT INTENDED NOR IMPLIED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL MEDICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD ALWAYS SEEK THE ADVICE OF YOUR PHYSICIAN OR OTHER QUALIFIED HEALTH CARE PROVIDER

Re: wish I had joined earlier

Dear Jules,

I am very sorry to hear of the passing of your dear dad. I know that pain that you feel as I felt it too after my dad passed away. I wish that there was something that I could say to you right now that would help ease your pain. Have you tried talking to other about how you feel right now? What you feel is normal and I went through that as well.

Please know that we are all here for you. We can so relate to what you are going through right now and how you feel, and I know for certain that you will find so many friendly people here that will listen should you wish to talk. Please keep coming back here and remember that we are here for you.

Hugs,

Gavin

Any advice or comments I give are based on personal experiences and knowledge and are my opinions only, they are not to be substituted for professional medical advice. Please seek professional advice from a qualified doctor or medical professional.

Re: wish I had joined earlier

Jules,

I also would like to express my deepest sympathy to you and your family on the loss of your dad.   Keep him with you in your heart and memories and take comfort in knowing he is no longer suffering.  My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this sad time.

Love & Hugs,
Darla

"One Day At A Time"

All of my comments and suggestions are just my opinions and are not a substitute for professional medical advice.   You should always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care providers.

Re: wish I had joined earlier

Thank you for the warm welcome. I am so sad and lonely- it's comforting to see that people are out there listening.
My dad was operated on at the National Cancer Institute in Bethesda, MD on Nov 8th by Dr Rudloff, an amazing and wonderful surgeon. No one here in Norfolk would operate on him because it was so risky and involved and so we felt fortunate to have found help at NCI. The surgery was very involved and over 70% of the liver was removed. He went into liver failure afterwards but they were not concerned because his liver was regenerating and improving until he got sepsis from pneumonia. His liver never recovered after the sepsis.
I do talk about it some but no one understands. Its hard to move forward when each day that passes makes me feel like he is disappearing.
I dont have a relationship with my mother and none of my sisters live near.

Re: wish I had joined earlier

Hi Jules,

I am very sorry to hear about your Dad. It sounds as though he was very special to you and that is why it hurts so much to have lost him. It must be very difficult being disconnected from your Mom and living far away from your sisters. I am glad that you found us because their are many caring people that would love to talk to you and lend a shoulder to cry on. Many have been through what you have and understand how you are feeling. Please come back often and talk to us. We are here to help.

Love,
-Pam

My beautiful daughter, Lauren Patrice, will live on in my heart forever.

My comments, suggestions, and opinions are based on my experience as a caretaker for my daughter, Lauren and from reading anything I can get my hands on about Cholangiocarcinoma. Please consult a physician for professional guidance.

Re: wish I had joined earlier

Jules...they say that after our loved one passes, the memories become our treasures.  Memories never leave us, dear Jules  it is just that live around us moves forward and we are part of that movement.  Keep talking, dear Jules.
Hugs,
Marion

THIS INFORMATION IS NOT INTENDED NOR IMPLIED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL MEDICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD ALWAYS SEEK THE ADVICE OF YOUR PHYSICIAN OR OTHER QUALIFIED HEALTH CARE PROVIDER