Topic: New Member

Hello,

I'm here because I lost my beautiful Mum to this awful, horrible disease on Jan 31st 2013.  I first came here to gain some understanding about this type of cancer...read a few stories, and tried my best to get my head around the diagnosis Mum had been given. 

I had intended to post a few questions about what to expect.....but I never had the time, Mum passed away just 18 days after diagnosis.  18 days is hardly enough time to prepare yourself to lose your Mum...but really how long do you need??  18 days, 18 months, 18 years??  I don't think you can ever "prepare" for it!!

So, I'm still trying to gain some understanding about this type of cancer.....

I feel like my world has shattered into a million pieces at my feet......I miss her soooo much!!

Kirstie
xx

Re: New Member

Dear Kirstie, I am so very sorry about your beloved Mom. There are no wrods to describe how devasting this CC Monster can be. I do know that a ways down the road your wonderful memories will take over and they will be a Blessing to you. Please accept my heartelt Prayers and thoughts.

From a book of blessings called "Benedictus" by John O'Donohue - Irish Poet & Philosopher
When you lose someone you love,
Your life becomes strange,
The ground beneath you becomes fragile,
Your thoughts make your eyes unsure;
And some dead echo drags your voice down
Where words have no confidence
Your heart has grown heavy with loss.
And though this loss has wounded others too,
No one knows what has been taken from you
When the silence of absence deepens.
There are days when you wake up happy;
Again inside the fullness of life,
Until the moment breaks
And you are thrown back
Onto the black tide of loss.
Days when you have your heart back,
You are able to function well
Until in the middle of work or encounter,
Suddenly with no warning,
You are ambushed by grief.
More than you, it knows its way
And will find the right time
To pull and pull the rope of grief
Until that coiled hill of tears
Has reduced to its last drop.
Gradually, you will learn acquaintance
With the invisible form of your departed;
And when the work of grief is done,
The wound of loss will heal
And you will have learned
And be able to enter the hearth
In your soul where your loved one
Has awaited your return
All the time.

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.

Re: New Member

Dearest Kirstie
My heart goes out to you and I shed tears for you.   Please understand this disease has no rhyme nor any reason. May I suggest you use your time to create a loving memory book of your mum, write down everything you think of about your special mum, try not to spend your time asking why ... there is no answer.
Thinking of you
Sandie
xxx

.... because I can ....

Re: New Member

Dear Kirstie,

You have my deepest sympathy on the loss of your dear mother.  My husband also passed quickly from this disease and I try to console myself in knowing that atleast he did not suffer for a long time.  Keep her forever in your heart & memories.  Thinking of you.

Love & Hugs,
Darla

"One Day At A Time"

All of my comments and suggestions are just my opinions and are not a substitute for professional medical advice.   You should always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care providers.

Re: New Member

Dear Kirstie,

How unfair that this awful disease took your dear Mum so soon. I am very sorry for your loss. I hope in time that the shock of your Mum's passing is replaced by wonderful memories of happy times. Bless you, Kirstie.

Love,
-Pam

My beautiful daughter, Lauren Patrice, will live on in my heart forever.

My comments, suggestions, and opinions are based on my experience as a caretaker for my daughter, Lauren and from reading anything I can get my hands on about Cholangiocarcinoma. Please consult a physician for professional guidance.

Re: New Member

Dear Kirsty,

I am so very sorry that you lost your mum.  There is so much support and understanding here that might offer you some comfort.

Kindest thoughts,

Clare

Clare

In the stars now . . . .

Re: New Member

Dear Kristie,

I am so very sorry indeed to hear of the loss of your mum, please accept my sincere condolences. I know that words will not help but please know that we are here for you. I lost my dad to this cancer so I can relate to the pain that you are feeling right now. My thoughts are with you right now.

Gavin

Any advice or comments I give are based on personal experiences and knowledge and are my opinions only, they are not to be substituted for professional medical advice. Please seek professional advice from a qualified doctor or medical professional.

Re: New Member

Thanks to everyone for your kind words...it really is nice to know that there is some support out there!!  I started to think no-one had heard of this type of cancer! 
I guess I do need to stop trying to find answers and asking why, it isn't going to help now!  My biggest why that I kept asking is "why was this cancer not detected earlier in Mum"  I have come to learn, that no matter when it was discovered/diagnosed...the outcome wasn't going to change.....it just would have prolonged the agony of knowing she was dying!  I'm glad, that in the end, my sister, brother and I were able to let her pass away at home, that was her only request, not to be in hospital.  I'm also glad, in a way that she didn't suffer in pain for too long! 
Again, thanks for all your kind words, it really is hard to find someone who really knows how you are feeling, what you are going through!  I only have one friend who's lost her mother so although she's been a great support to me, I don't really like burdening her with my issues, making her go through all her pain over again!
xx

Re: New Member

Hi Kirstie,

You keep coming back here as much as you feel you want to. Go ahead and post as much as you want to and should you feel the need, you can shout, scream and vent away as much as you want to. Many of us have been where you are right now and you certainly will not be burdening us with your issues at all.

I know that it's not the same as face to face talking, but coming here helped me so much when my dad was ill and it helped me a lot to be around people who knew exactly how I was feeling and what I was going through as well.

I hear what you are saying about the why, why wasn't it diagnosed earlier. Unfortunately and in many instances with this cancer there are not many signs or symptoms that show themselves until it has progressed. That is the case for so many people and was also the same with my dad. It is not the case for everyone but sadly it is for far too many.

We are here for you Kirstie and we care.

Hugs,

Gavin

Any advice or comments I give are based on personal experiences and knowledge and are my opinions only, they are not to be substituted for professional medical advice. Please seek professional advice from a qualified doctor or medical professional.

Re: New Member

I forgot to say as well. Should you wish to, you can submit a question to Dr Giles here on the site. He is a licensed psychologist and has helped many of our members with many issues. He can be found here if you wish to submit a question to him -

http://www.cholangiocarcinoma.org/ask.htm

Gavin

Any advice or comments I give are based on personal experiences and knowledge and are my opinions only, they are not to be substituted for professional medical advice. Please seek professional advice from a qualified doctor or medical professional.

Re: New Member

Oh, thanks Gavin!! 
Yes, I can tell already that coming here to vent/shout/scream is going to be widely accepted by you guys!!  Sadly, as you sad many of you have been where I am now, or on the way to where I am now....and will totally understand me!
Thanks also for the link!

Kirstie