Topic: For my mom....

I've stumbled across this forum looking for information regarding cholangiocarcinoma.  I so wish my mother had found this site a few months ago....

We lost my mother on February 20th of this year to this awful disease.  Diagnosed in October '07, her first few months were amazing, and it was almost unbelieveable that she had cancer.  Early in December however, mom came down with a serious blood and urine infection, which started her downward spiral.  After spending 12 days in hospital, we were able to bring her home for Christmas, which both my sister and I knew would be her last one.  She was so sick and weak, however we were able to share some special time together.  After the holiday she went back to her home, but never regained her strength, although remained ever positive about her recovery.  It was not to be.... January 30th she was back in the hospital with yet another blood infection, and the cancer now at stage 4.  We knew the end was near, and did all we could to make sure her last days were comfortable and pain free.  She was finally able to come home on the 15th of February to spend her final days in our house, with me at her side.  We truly believe she found comfort being with her daughters, and was able to leave this world in peace. 

We miss her terribly... I never imagined I would lose my mother this young (me 40, she 66).  My sister and are close, so we do have each other, but there is definitely a void left in our lives. 

Anyway, I hope those who are fighting this disease find a way to win, and I also hope that they and their families are able to find some support through this forum. 

It helps to share with others who have gone through the same pain .

Re: For my mom....

Shelag..... May your Mom rest in peace.  She was blessed to have such caring daughters.  Support and love each other and remember your beautiful memories of your Mom for ever.

God Bless,
Jeff G.

Take it to the Limit,One More Time! (Eagles)

Re: For my mom....

Dear Shelagh,
I am so sorry for your loss. Our stories are very similar - my mother died on Jan. 22, 2007, and was only diagnosed in November of 2006. She was 64, I was 40. I also have one sister, age 42. We were able to have hospice care at my mother's house, and we were with her and holding her hands when she died. I still go over all the details in my mind and feel the pain all over again -- she was my best friend, my confidante, the one who made me laugh. My stepfather died of lung cancer 4 years before and my mother and I supported each other through his long illness and grieved together. Now I have no one to grieve with but the kind people on this site - my sister, though I love her dearly, doesn't want to think about it and has suppressed all her grief.

My 5 year old daughter still cries for Grandma, because we were all so close - she still remembers, over a year later, and wants to go to the planet Pluto because somehow she came to the conclusion that's where dead people go.

I wish you peace and comfort in your memories and I don't want to be depressing - but I do feel your pain and commiserate with you. It's always good to vent to those who have been there, because the rest of the world is just going on as if nothing happened. It's a monumental event when you're orphaned and you don't have that refuge you always relied on.  I hope you have a good support system and I'm glad you have your sister to cry with.

Joyce

Re: For my mom....

Hi,

My mum (68) was diagnosed with CC in April 2007. Last Monday we were informed that the cancer metastasized towards her peritoneum. My mum is now in the last stage of CC. We don't know how much time she has left. It is starting to dawn on me that we are going to have to let her go. Don't know how I am going to manage this.

Luckily, as with you shelagh, my sister and me are very close (we're twins). Together I hope we'll be able to comfort both my mum and dad. We'll try to enjoy the time we have left to the fullest. We are a very close family.

Never thought, ofcourse not, that I was going to lose my mum, she being 68, me being 43.
It's so very hard.

Wish you all the strength and courage to carry on and enjoy life, because it's still worth living.

"In the land of hope, it's never winter".

Pat

Re: For my mom....

Pat .... It's so hard to to let those you love go on to eternal life.  With the Lords help, you and your sister will have the strength to help her and also provide support for your Dad as well.
God Bless,
Jeff G.

Take it to the Limit,One More Time! (Eagles)

Re: For my mom....

Thank you all for your kind words... and yes Joyce our stories are very similar... thank you for sharing.  I too keep re-living those final days and moments.  I hope someday those memories will move on and be replaced with happier times.
I wish you strength Pat as you go through this painful time. 

This week has been particularly difficult for me... we are getting ready to do the Relay for Life here in Vancouver in honour of our mom.  Its helped my sister and I realize how important research is for this and other forms of cancer.  If only there were early detection tests of particular cancer, my mom might still be here today.  We'lll walk proud, celebrate those who've beat this disease, remember those who have passed, and fight for those who still suffer. 

I miss her so much....

Re: For my mom....

Shelagh ... I have no doubt the people of Vancouver will see two strong and proud sisters walking tall for their most honorable Mom ! On -going Research plays a vital role in bringing a cure to the table.  Every step you take helps that cause.

God Bless,
Jeff G.

Take it to the Limit,One More Time! (Eagles)

Re: For my mom....

jmoneypenny that sounds like my Mum too - she was 64 and was diagnosed on 6 May this year, and passed away on 3 August.  I'm 34 and feel just too young to have lost my Mum.