Topic: Sensitive - Dad's bile duct cancer

Hi all, I just wanted to let you all know that my dad passed away yesterday evening.  He fought a really hard fight and it was heart breaking to see him not being able to eat properly.  He was just so weak towards the end that he didn't have the strength even to stand up on his own.  He did not spend any time in hospital (apart from when he had his biliary stent) and we did not involve the Macmillan nurses or the hospice.  My dad stayed at home the whole time and we had community nurses who came out and changed his fluids (we had him on subcutaneous fluids right up until the very end) which helped keep him more comfortable. He also didn't have any pain that needed morphine or sedation of any kind, so he was able to talk to us during waking periods, although he slept a lot towards the end.

I prayed for him to go towards the end because he was so weak and finding it so hard and he still had vomiting which took an awful lot out of him.  My dad had wanted to stay at home and so at least he got his wish.  The doctor had wanted to admit him to hospital as he was severely dehydrated, but he would then have come home again and been back to square one - they also, at this late stage talked about a stent to relieve the bowel obstruction, but this would have meant travelling to a different hospital and then having invasive procedures carried out, and by this time, he was just far too weak.  He made the decision himself to stay at home and have subcut fluids, which actually did help and the dehydration did settle to a large extent, but of course, he was still not getting any adequate intake of food.

My dad was an absolutely amazing man right up to his last breath.  He didn't once complain and he always had a smile.  I am so proud of him and will miss him so much. He is still at home with us now, as in our family (we are catholic) our loved ones stay at home until they leave to go to their final resting place.  He looks very peaceful now and I am glad that he is now free of his suffering.

Thank you all so much for your wonderful support and I am sorry I haven't posted sooner, but I just couldn't bring myself to say anything during the last week and a half or so, because each day, I saw my dad getting progessively worse and couldn't understand how anyone could go through so much and yet still be fighting. 

take care, God bless, Mags

"Even Darkness is not dark for you, and the night is as clear as the day.... " RIP Dad, always loved.

Re: Sensitive - Dad's bile duct cancer

Dear Mags,

I am so very sorry indeed to hear of your dear dads passing. Please accept my sincere condolences. I wish that right now there was something that I could say that would help. You did everything possible that you could to help your dad and I know that he would have been so very proud of you. I am glad that your dad was able to get his wish to stay at home, and he is suffering no more. Please know that my thoughts are with you and your family right now, and we are all here for you as well.

Hugs,

Gavin

Any advice or comments I give are based on personal experiences and knowledge and are my opinions only, they are not to be substituted for professional medical advice. Please seek professional advice from a qualified doctor or medical professional.

Re: Sensitive - Dad's bile duct cancer

Dear Mags, I'm so, so sorry to hear of your dad's passing. My love to you and your family.

Julia

“When it is dark enough, you can see the stars." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Re: Sensitive - Dad's bile duct cancer

Dear, Dear MAGS, I am so sorry about your Dad and yes he was quite the warrior but you know as we do he is Happy and at Peace. I am sure he was very proud of you and how you handled it all. Please accept my humble prayers.

I’M  STILL  HERE

I’m at your side each night and day,
In your heart is where I’ll stay.
You can feel, see or hear, I am not gone, I’m always near.
I’m the colorful leaves when fall comes round,
The pure white snow that blankets ground.
I’m the first bright blossom you’ll see in Spring.
The first warm raindrop that April will bring.
I'm the first ray of light when the sun starts to shine,
And you'll see that the face in the moon is mine.
I'll whisper your name through the leaves on the trees,
And you'll feel my presence in the soft summer breeze.
I'm the salty tears that flow when you weep,
And the beautiful dreams that come while you sleep.
I'm the smile you see on a baby's face.
Just look for me, I'm everyplace!

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.

Re: Sensitive - Dad's bile duct cancer

Dear Mags,
I'm truly sorry to hear about your dad's passing.  Please accept my deepest condolences to you and your family.

Hugs,

Jeeyoung

Re: Sensitive - Dad's bile duct cancer

Dear mags,

I am so sorry to read that your dad died yesterday.  You had been in my thoughts over the last couple of days -I had been wondering how your dad was.  Be proud of all that you did for him - your love and selflessness in helping him are so apparent.

Please take care of yourself and mum over the next few days. 

Clare

Clare

In the stars now . . . .

Re: Sensitive - Dad's bile duct cancer

My sincerest condolences to you and your family.  I hope with time all your memories will be happy and heart warming.  It is so wonderful you made sure your Fathers wishes were respected.  Peace to your family.

Re: Sensitive - Dad's bile duct cancer

I am so sorry to hear about your dad.  Please accept my sincere condolences.  I hope that happy memories soon replace the sadness you are feeling.

-Randi-

Survivor of cholangiocarcinoma (2009), thyroid cancer (1999), and breast cancer (1994).

My comments, suggestions, and opinions are based only on my personal experience as a cancer survivor. Please consult a physician for professional guidance.

Re: Sensitive - Dad's bile duct cancer

Dear mags... I have shared your sorrow reading you post, I am so sorry for your loss. Anyone who has gone though this hurts deeply hearing about the end of a hard fought battle. You can be proud of what a spirited warrior he was. May god bless you, Pat