Sweet Phil...here I am! I am so very sorry for what you and the boys are going through. I have not forgotten what you went through but you are never going to find Peace if you don't let go of what we can do nothing about. No one grieves the same but I can say from experience , when you hang on the the bad the good cannot come through. I had to do the same thing and that pain does get dimmer in time. I so wish you could turn that energy in to trying to see things that will show you that he is still all around you. It brings so much comfort. I am going to email you what to look for and you can make the boys the Captains of looking for Dad. I actually thought about you a few days ago and am so glad you wrote to us. Phil, I wrote this poem about 6 months after Teddy passed.
How Are You Doing?
Everyone asks me how I’m doing since you went away,
With a smile on my face I say, “I really am okay”.
Matter of fact its very hard but I promised to be strong,
Until the time we meet again, in your arms where I belong.
In the morning when I wake, once where there was warmth all night,
There’s nothing but an empty space and a pillow to hold tight.
Our closet now holds all my clothes it still looks kind of strange,
I try to make it look like more and constantly rearrange.
When I’m in the kitchen and working at the sink,
Many times I stop and this is what I think…..
If Teddy was here he’d grab me to give a little cue,
That he was about to hug me and say his, “I love you”.
No more are the corny jokes that grew longer by the year,
What I wouldn’t give now for just one more, to hear.
When someone calls, your message is still kept on the phone,
That way no one knows I am really home alone.
When day is over and dinner is eaten by one,
No more thank you-s for the meal well done.
Don't have anyone to scratch my back,
There’s just a big hole here, a hole of midnight black.
But, how am I doing? I’m doing okay,
I know that you would want it that way.
And I know you are with me morning to night,
Still watching over me, that every things all right!
Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.