Topic: Visiting the Cemetry

This weekend I will be home with my family for a flying visit to drop my daughter off to spend a week with her cousins.  It also means that I get to go to the cemetery and visit my sister.  Because I live 300 miles away, I have not been to the cemetery since my last visit before leaving at the end of March 3 weeks after her death.

I find it incredibly hard not being able to visit her 'special place' (as we call it to the children) when ever I want to.  Once a week I buy a  new single flower and put it by her photograph but it's but I think my heart is going to burst when I visit her on Saturday.  In a strange way I am looking forward to it but also dreading it.  I'm not sure how composed I am going to manage to be.

Clare

In the stars now . . . .

Re: Visiting the Cemetry

Clare, when you go to the Cemetery, let what ever wants to happen, happen. When I go see my parents I just talk to them and tell them what has been happening here. I do understand though as I have an Urn here with Teddy that I keep in the dining room. This way when we are all together he is there too. I do however, find it very hard to talk to him. I know you will feel better though after your visit. I love your weekly flower idea!

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.

Re: Visiting the Cemetry

Hi Clare,

My husband and I go to the cemetery every day. I usually meet him there after he gets off work. I have a folding rocking chair and I just sit next to Lauren's grave and rock. It is very quiet and peaceful there with lots of big trees and rolling hills. Some days I sit there quietly and other days I cry like crazy. But, it makes me feel better to be there. I can't wait until we get Lauren's head stone. We ordered it yesterday. It doesn't matter how composed you are while visiting your sister. I'm sure you will feel close to her. I love your flower idea and I'm sure she sees it. Much love to you, Clare and have a nice visit.

Love,
-Pam

My beautiful daughter, Lauren Patrice, will live on in my heart forever.

My comments, suggestions, and opinions are based on my experience as a caretaker for my daughter, Lauren and from reading anything I can get my hands on about Cholangiocarcinoma. Please consult a physician for professional guidance.

Re: Visiting the Cemetry

Hi Pamela. I hope you don't mind this but I felt Lauren would be saying this to you, her family:

Think about the good times, not the bad,
Laugh at the weird things we did, cry at the sad.
I will be with you in heart, mind, and spirit.
When you need someone to talk to I'll be there listening.
When you are awarded for your success I'll be there smiling proudly.
When you get married I'll be there crying tears of joy.
When you need me most I'll always be there.
I want you to be happy I don't want you to cry over me.
I don't want you to spend your lives in misery.
I want you to move on in your lives. Think of me and smile!
Ours was a great experience of a loving family.
Of love that will last an eternity even though I am gone.
It is only goodbye for a short time for we will see each other again.
Know when the wind blows or the sun shines only on you
That it is me standing next to you.

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.

Re: Visiting the Cemetry

Thank you, sweet Lainy. The poem is beautiful.

My beautiful daughter, Lauren Patrice, will live on in my heart forever.

My comments, suggestions, and opinions are based on my experience as a caretaker for my daughter, Lauren and from reading anything I can get my hands on about Cholangiocarcinoma. Please consult a physician for professional guidance.

Re: Visiting the Cemetry

Dear Pam,

How are you?  I am touched that you take the time to support me when you are going through unimaginable grief - you are remarkable. 

My sister's stone is up which is quicker than we thought it would be.  The spray of flowers that mum had done for my sister's wedding anniversary last week still looked lovely and I'm glad I got to see it.  Mum is a great flower arranger.   My Dad came with me and put the rose that him and mum take to my sister every week.  They visit her several times a week but always take a single red rose to her on a Saturday.  I left gerberas - my daughter loved watering all the flowers and helping to tidy up her special place.  I have a feeling that Nik's little bit of the cemetery is going to adorned with niks and naks that the kids take up to her.

Clare

In the stars now . . . .

Re: Visiting the Cemetry

I visit my dear mother's grave at least 2 times a week. ( it is very close to my home)  I feel peaceful when I'm there. I know her spirit is not there, but I still go.

Anna