My husband seems to be on a steady decline. Just in the past month he has lost a total of 15 pounds. Today the doctors office called and his tumor marker went from 665 to 1423 in two weeks. I figured it would climb since he is no longer getting chemo but for it to double in two weeks was a shock.
He is barely eating. I am lucky if he eats one egg in the morning, lunch he might eat a half of a sandwich but lately not even that, today it was 2 pair slices and he had to make himself eat it. Dinner sometimes nothing at all or he eats the helping the size of a jar lid.
He has no energy, sleeps a lot and get dizzy a lot when he walks. He's in a lot of pain. Once in a while I can get him to take his pain meds but he puts up a fight.
I feel helpless!
I feel like he is slipping away fast.
How long can a person go on like this? He is suffering so bad. I dont want to lose him and feel selfish for feeling that way. But at the same time I know he's miserable. He tells me he hopes it's soon. It breaks my heart to hear him say things like that.
He also told me that in 2 months he will be gone. Is it possible that they know how much time they have?
Daily he is explaining to me in how to make sure things get done. Like how long the house roof is good for and things like that. I set and listen and the whole time all I want to do is cry. I do pretty good at holding it in. I dont like crying in front of him much because then he feels like he has to apologize for being sick and I dont want him to feel like he needs to do that.
The kids are asking more and more questions and I try to answer them the best I can.
He has a doctors appointment friday and his doctor I believe is going to talk to him about hospice. At this point hes not real excited in having them come in. Will hospice wait until he is comfortable in having them come in? Can I call them and let them know he's ready? Not too sure how it all works.
Thank you everyone in listening to me oce again. Sometimes it just feels better to write then to talk about it.