My heart goes out to you and your family. Your mother sounds so much like mine, I know some of what you're going through. My mother didn't want to hear about eating healthier, or alternative treatments either, just waited for the doctors to tell her what to do. She was also a strong, independent woman who wouldn't ask for help or talk to anyone about her fears and didn't want to know what my research turned up. YOUR mother, however, DOES have a fighting chance, which mine didn't. Try to hold onto that, try to make her see that hope, if you can.
You sound like a wonderful daughter -- you are doing everything you possibly can, but there's no way you can force a person to eat their veggies, jog around the block, etc. She will do things her own way, and you can give her advice, but after a while, if she's not going to listen, then you'll just have to let her deal with this in her own way. You can do things like call insurance and doctors for her to try to speed the process along a bit (they took their sweet time with my mother, too, and I made a few of those exhausting calls), but it's ultimately up to her to decide how she's going to face this thing. It's a tough call because she's your mother and you don't want to cross the line and force her to do things, so just being there and being ready to support her in whatever she needs is the most important thing you're doing. It sounds like you're doing just that, and bringing your son over to see her must make her feel so much better - I know it was the one bright spot in my mother's last days to see my daughter.
I'm saying all this so you don't feel guilty that you're not doing enough, like forcing your mother to drink protein shakes -- if she's like my mother, she would adamantly refuse to even TRY something like that. And that's her choice. My sister is still angry at my mother, because she thinks if my mother tried acupuncture and ate more healthily, she would still be here. No one really knows if it would have changed anything. I still think of ways I could have changed things, but I could never have changed my lovably stubborn mother, no matter how I tried. Some people are set in their ways and/or they are dealing with a very scary cancer and they seem to be unreasonable in their approach to it. I can't even imagine how scary it must be for them -- it was scary enough for ME as the caregiver. All we can do is try to guide them, tell them we love them, and show them we love them.
I always come out sounding so preachy and I hate it - I don't mean to, I'm really empathizing with you and with your mother. I hope the financial burden is lessened, because that's the last thing you need right now. And I hope your mother's treatment protocol can be speeded up and it works wonderfully. She has so much to live for and I'm sure she loves you and appreciates you dearly.
Sorry I went into essay mode again - best of luck to you and your mother. Please keep us updated.