Topic: Maundering or Epiphany? Not for the faint of heart.
All anyone has is today and a hope for tomorrow. Make the most of it. Everything we know today is built on the past. We can't ignore it.
“Those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it.” George Santanya
“Don't look back. Something may be gaining on you.” Satchel Paige
“Don't look back. It takes your eyes off the path and you may stumble.”
We, as a community, are a great source of strength and support for each other. But we, individually, have to be our own main supporters. When we wake up in the middle of the night or any time we are alone with our thoughts, we are all we have to confront our fears. Plus, we have to give our other supporters time off to recharge their batteries so they can be there when we really need them so we can get to tomorrow and leave the darkness in the past. The past: remember it all, treasure the good, learn from the bad, but always know it has passed – the good and the bad.
How do our supporters do it? Day after day they give and give, knowing what they know. In another context I learned my wife's greatest fear – being alone. Today is her birthday. I guess one difference we know it will be sooner than later, as opposed to those who die unexpectedly in a car crash. There can be some sort of preparation. Such love – how can I return it?
Apparently when a new child is born, older ones may worry that there will be less love for them. Aimee always told them "Love multiplies, it does not divide."
Got back on track with chemo today. Missed two weeks ago - low platelet count. Missed last week - viral infection. Platelets around 125,000 today. The path stretches out in front. Please walk by my side.
The past has passed.
"Second star to the right and straight on 'til morning." JM Barrie