Topic: My surgery
Hi all, I wasn't even quite sure where to post this tonight but needing a place to vent and kind of let things go. In some ways I feel bad about posting about having an upcoming surgery as that is what so many of us long for and pray to have one day. But now that it is almost here I am scared out of my mind and not quite sure how I am going to get through the next couple of weeks. I think it's natural for us as humans to think the worst and hope for the best.? But I can't help but to think of everything that could possibly go wrong and think of my 2 darling children and if God forbid if anything happened during or after surgery. So many questions going through my mind. It was a shock to hear that I was now even a candidate. The tumor is still quite large. I think one of my biggest fears is that they will open me up and then find that they can't complete the surgery. Other than that I am just freaking out about complications and how I will feel and etc, etc. I have never even broken a darn bone for heavens sake, let alone have any kind of surgery. My pre op consult with the surgeon is on the 17th and I am hoping that after that appointment some of my anxiety will be relieved as I will have more info about the actual procedure. But at this point I am a ball of many different emotions and as much as I feel so grateful and blessed, I am also terrified. I mean I got to celebrate my kids 7th and 9th birthdays in Dec, and my 35th is coming up in March and I hope that I will get to celebrate that as well. Thanks all for letting me just kind of vent about this, having a rough night.