What a beautiful poem! Thanks for sharing it with us as I could relate so much to it. I am so sorry for your loss too. I wish you peace and will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
I lost my mother November 29, 2012, and now I've been sick from the stress of losing her.
My doctor has been running numerous tests to rule out diseases etc. Stress has made me very sick and now I have to notify my boss tomorrow that I can no longer work as I don't have the strength, and hope they will allow me to return once I feel better emotionally and physically. I'm not eligible for FMLA yet.
It's amazing how stress affects us. My mother was all I had and she went fast in 8 weeks which absolutely devastated me, but at least she didn't suffer for too long. I was grateful that I saw her before she passed and buried her BUT my life has and will never be the same again, as I loved and cared about her more than anyone in the world. Her spirit will always be with me until I meet her again. I'm starting psychotherapy this week and have been on anti-depressants, Lexapro which has helped me otherwise I don't know. I'm trying very hard to keep busy but will always have my outbursts for the rest of my life.
I hear my mother once in a blue moon, through my head saying " you have to take care of yourself and try to be happy and healthy, and remember that I love & miss you and will always be with you." So, I'm trying very hard to take care of myself to the best of my ability which is hard but that's all I can do, and I hope you do too.
I wish we could plan a reunion with all the people that have lost their loved ones to this monster of a cancer. Maybe in Kansas which is exactly in the center of the country. Maybe we can make it happen as I think it would be a wonderful idea and would be so good for all of us.
In the meantime, try to take good care of yourself and try hard to live one day or even one hour at a time. Individual therapy and anti-depressants is my suggestion, because it can really help.
A big hug,