Topic: I am losing my mind

John and I live with his Mother who is 89. They argue all the time now.
John is getting weaker everyday, his Mom wants him to walk, she thinks it will make him feel better. She's losing her memory a bit so it's like she doesn't even remember I tell her he's in pain and really can't walk.
He tells me she's on him everyday, all day about something.
She tells me he talks mean to her all the time.

I am in the middle of it. I have to work 40 hours a week, I only have his Mom to look after him so I don't know what to do.
We can't move, we can't afford it. I have to work for the insurance for John.
If insurance wasn't an issue we would be gone in a heartbeat.

Can anyone give me any ideas what to do? I'm at the end of the rope and it's ready to break.

Charlene

2 (edited by marions Mon, 21 Jul 2008 20:15:06)

Re: I am losing my mind

Charlene,
So many dynamics going on!
Years ago, when one of my children was critically ill and six physicians were in disagreement in re: to treatment, it was the surgeon making a profound statement:

THIS INFORMATION IS NOT INTENDED NOR IMPLIED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL MEDICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD ALWAYS SEEK THE ADVICE OF YOUR PHYSICIAN OR OTHER QUALIFIED HEALTH CARE PROVIDER

Re: I am losing my mind

Charlene,

Where do you live? Is there a respite program in your area that can provide you with some relief? If you're not sure, try looking here:

http://www.cancer.org/docroot/SPC/SPC_1 … _Break.asp

You might also contact a local church and see if they know someone who might volunteer. You could also call a hospice program in your area and see if they know of any agency that might be able to provide some counseling for the three of you, to try and air out some of the issues with a facilitator.

Also, I am 38 years old and am finding it difficult to function with the physical demands and lack of sleep, I honestly don't know how an 89 year old would be able to do it, she must be made of some stuff.

Librarian Patty

4 (edited by JeffG Fri, 18 Jul 2008 11:38:21)

Re: I am losing my mind

Charlene.... I agree with Patty.   My Mom qualified and recieved 20 hours per week of at home respite assistance.  A nurse contracted with the State came to the home and did a health assessment.  It gave my Dad 4 hours a day break for three years before more difficulties occured.  This could be done for John's Mom or maybe both.  Home health care/respite can actually come to the house or also John's Mom could go to a day program transportation provided and  interact with others.  Also meals on wheels for those who are house bound can't get out and drive.  Your County Social Services Dept. should be able to help as well.  This worked in the State of Maine.  John's Mom's primary Care Doctor  can request the assessment.  In Maine it was called Interim health Care.  I'ts covered under Medicare.  It was a blessing in disguise for my Dad until he took ill as well.  Relief is there Charlene as tired and worn out as you are, when you catch your breath, make some phone calls and don't hold back your disparity for help.

God Bless,
Jeff G.

P.S.  Another way to get some assistance is your local Crisis Hotline Number. Just let them know you need help now,before your rope snaps.  I'm digging for ya Charlene.

Take it to the Limit,One More Time! (Eagles)

Re: I am losing my mind

Thank you all for your great suggestions. I'm going to do it tomorrow on my day off.

Thanks again, I wouldn't be able to cope without you all.

Lots of hugs and love to all,
Charlene