Topic: Caring wife wishful life!

My intro is a bit overwhelming. Exhausted with the fight of holding the tears here at hospice. The roller coaster of hope, dreams subsiding, and fear what's to come has me unable to eat much and not sleep. My anxiety meds far from meeting my needs. Being a 24/7 caregiver overwhelming task with no help till now has drained my energy. Only nervous energy left...I guess.
It seems such a cruel thing to happen to us. Engaged then next month diagnosed groom with liver/liver duct cancer. Wonder if the shock of it all will ever let up. Cheated is all I feel. Honored to be his wife. Proud of his courage suffering to hold on everyday. Very rarely leave his side. Scared of losing a second with him.
Besides, it took me 15 years after a bad divorce to find the absolute love of my life. Trust the Lord's strength will carry me the rest of the way whatever his will is. The heartbreak tough on me. Married less than a year.  Super hard to bear. Pray for sharing memories to treasure for however long have please Lord.

Re: Caring wife wishful life!

Hi there,
              What a shocking time you are having,it does at times feel a bit unreal.I was in your shoes 5 years ago and it is so hard,actually I am reminded that I need to be very kind to myself when I visit this site.
   But for you you need to take every support that is offered both professional and friend's offers,you need good sleeps to get you through,you need to eat really well and try to get out and walk even just for 20 mins
                                      Janet x

Re: Caring wife wishful life!

Caring Wife, I so understand how you feel. I was married the 1st time for 23 years, make that 23 years of mental abuse. I was then divorced for 7 years and met Teddy who was my knight in shining armor, the love of my life as well. Its been 3 years now and when I feel I was cheated I tell myself, "shame on me as I had for 16 years what most never have in a lifetime"  and that helps me. I started doing that about 6 months after. This is such a hard time for you and I wish there was something we could do but the best thing you can do is lean on family, friends and clergy. You might ask for a little stronger RX for yourself. Please take care of yourself as that is what your husband would want you to do.


Re: Caring wife wishful life!


I can so feel your pain and totally understand.   For now just take it one day at a time.   Spend as much time together as you can and treasurer every moment, but take care of yourself too.   You will survive this.  I am proof of that.  Even tho' it now seems overwhelming and impossible to believe.  You will find you are stronger than you think you are.   Is it fair?  NO!  Just enjoy what time is given to you as best you can.   Along with having you there for him, his comfort and pain management are very important.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Love & Hugs,

"One Day At A Time"

All of my comments and suggestions are just my opinions and are not a substitute for professional medical advice.   You should always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care providers.

Re: Caring wife wishful life!

Thankful now in hospice care to help me. Blessed to see kind words found here. Tomorrow doctor holds an answer of most likely time left. Precious is his alertness in moments. The depth of love expressed so precious as to hate the clock on the wall as ticks loudly at my view. Flooding tears to hide. Miss him when just exit his room even to use bathroom. Short of breath myself from pain in my heart. Emotions so intensified to unable to sleep. Time later to deal with me. Sounds more me. Single parent of 15 years. Love of my life taken in less than a year. Fleeting glimpses of dreams haunt me. Therapy headed definitely. Know this site has given me a hope, comfort, just sometimes a little "good" to my extremely frightening days of loneliness feel in now.

Appreciate those who feel, lead, and partner in care of another.

6 (edited by Missing U Sat, 29 Mar 2014 19:53:47)

Re: Caring wife wishful life!

Hi Caring Wife,

My heart goes out to you; I lost my Dad to this illness seven years ago and both my mom and I felt as if his life was stolen, that death came like a thief in the night.  What I can tell you is that those days we spent supporting him were a blessing to us. 

I say that because we had the honour of walking my Dad back home. It was his journey, but we walked it too and at the time, we were just on "autopilot", not thinking, just doing.  I only broke down once in front of my Dad and it was when he told me it was OK to cry.  Now there are many more resources for this illness than there were back then- so, please reach out and get some support for yourself too.

Cherish every moment you have with your love.  Even the sad moments are opportunities for you to lift his heart and in so doing, you will lift yours knowing you are helping him by loving him unconditionally and standing by him when it counts.

God Bless you both,
Missing my Papa