Topic: Short update to anyone who cares

Just for those of you who have helped me help my sister along this sad path, an update. My sister is now in hospice care at home. She now has some sort of an obstruction in her intestine (a tumor leaning on it) and my parents have chosen not to have it reversed as it will involve a hospital stay, being sedated which she hates and for a very short term gain only. She is being hydrated 4x a week which is basically what is keeping her alive. She vomits continually and is weak yet very hyper and agitated. The palliative care team upped alot of her pain and anxiety meds which are now given thru a port. She is very sad and also angry. Its hard for her to understand what's really happening to her. Sorry for the very sad post. I thought i'd just share.  Belle

Re: Short update to anyone who cares

My heart breaks for you Belle, your sister and your family.  I pray that she will not have pain.  I'm so so sorry.  I pray for comfort for all of you.

Carol

Re: Short update to anyone who cares

Yes -- my thoughts are with you. Please know you and your family are not alone.

Irene

Re: Short update to anyone who cares

Belle, I'm so sorry that this is happening.  It must be so difficult for your sister since she's unable to comprehend what's going on.  My father just started hospice this week and it is a very sad time.  My hope would be that they could get her comfortable which I know will help the family.  God Bless
Rachel

Re: Short update to anyone who cares

Belle..... I'm with you all in thought and prayers.  Your Mom and Dad had to make a heart wrenching decision. It sounds as though hospice care is doing all they can to make your sister as comfortable as possible. Thank You Belle for sharing and being such a supportive Sister. We are here for you to Belle. We truly understand and can relate to this emotional time.

God Bless,
Jeff G.

Take it to the Limit,One More Time! (Eagles)

Re: Short update to anyone who cares

I'm sorry, but why are they hydrating her? Isn't one of the points of being with hospice is that you don't have to do anything that would prolong suffering? It just seems.............. I don't know. I really don't know, but my heart hurts for you and your family. You're in our prayers.

God bless,
brenda

Re: Short update to anyone who cares

Belle,

The anger leaves me at a loss, it's the only thing I don't have a response for, I just don't know what to do or say, I mean, anyone who gets stuck with this disease has a right to be angry. I am reminded of something I saw on a church wall:

O all ye that pass by the way, attend, and see if there be any sorrow like to my sorrow.  -Lamentations 1:12

Yes, all cancer is bad, but I think most people with this cancer would gladly trade it for almost any other.

My mom is also in hospice care at home, she is somewhat coherent and she told me the other day that she wants out of this whole deal and I had to tell her I knew it was a raw deal but I couldn't do anything about it.

She perked up today but is also currently angry and told us to leave her alone. She keeps going back and forth emotionally and it's hard for those who surround her to make the adjustment, especially her grandkids.

Now I am mad at myself and her because I wish I had pushed her to eat more healthy things, both before and after her diagnosis, since I think it would have given her more time. She has very poor eating habits, she thinks coffeecake is a food group, and she pushed away healthy stuff we were putting in front of her. If I were the sick one, she would want me to eat the good stuff but she is the boss...and stubborn as they come.

I hope your sister goes peacefully, she is lucky that she is not angry and alone. Please know, also, that you are not alone, that strangers who wouldn't recognize you on the street care more than you know.

Patty

8 (edited by marions Wed, 23 Jul 2008 00:38:08)

Re: Short update to anyone who cares

Belle, my heart goes out to your sister, you and your entire family.  the vomiting can be relentless and can cause the throat to be very sore.  I am sure that Hospice it aware of this and will take put in action anything possible for your sister to make her comfortable. 
Sending all my love
Marion

THIS INFORMATION IS NOT INTENDED NOR IMPLIED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL MEDICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD ALWAYS SEEK THE ADVICE OF YOUR PHYSICIAN OR OTHER QUALIFIED HEALTH CARE PROVIDER

Re: Short update to anyone who cares

Belle,
I am sorry your sister and family is going through this and has to make those hard decisions. I pray that she is made as comfortable as possible. Please come in here as often as needed for support.

Kris

Cancer is a word, not a sentence.

36 year old patient with buckets of hope

Re: Short update to anyone who cares

Belle,
Heartfelt prayers for your sister, you and your parents.  Life can be so painful at times.  Peace to you and your family.
Karen

Wishing all God's blessings!

Re: Short update to anyone who cares

Belle,

You are so strong!  I hope you know this. Sometimes, coming on this site makes me feel soo sad that I just want to crawl up in a ball and leave this awful place.  We as caregivers do as much as we can but it kills me to not be able to take the pain away.  Now that we are dealing with a recurrence, I am scared to be at this place one day.  I don't want chucks to suffer this way. It truly breaks my heart.  I will pray for your sister and family. Still searching for the cure!

Christina

Re: Short update to anyone who cares

Thank you to all of you who responded to my plaintive cry. Brenda, the reason that they are continuing to hydrate her is simply because that's what they were doing until now. Making another decision to stop hydration is another very big step (which is under consideration) but we'll see. The palliative care team will do whatever the patient and family wants which is a real comfort. I have only the best to say about our experience with the hospice care drs. and nurses. Once again, thank you and i'll try to keep in touch. Belle

Re: Short update to anyone who cares

Belle,

I am heartbroken for the grief your family shares because of your sister's cancer.  May God wrap his arms around all of you and give you some comfort.  I pray that your sister's suffering eases.

Sophie

Re: Short update to anyone who cares

Belle,
    It does break my heart to read this about your sister. We are with you in spirit. I do hope that God wraps his loving arms around your family and holds you tight.

Joyce C

Re: Short update to anyone who cares

Belle,
I have been thinking so much about you and your sister. Please let us know how you are doing.

Kris

Cancer is a word, not a sentence.

36 year old patient with buckets of hope

Re: Short update to anyone who cares

Belle,
You are in my prayers, as is your family.

Re: Short update to anyone who cares

I guess another short update is in order. Things have been very hectic on my end and although I check up on the site from time to time, I don't post so often, so thank you to all of you for your interest and heart. My sister is slowly, ebbing. While my parents have elected to continue hydrating her (emotional as well as religious concerns) she has not eaten or drank (gr??) in 4-5 weeks. She was able to go off the bed until this week, but today she tried to go on her own to the washroom and fell. The drugs for the nausea are only partially working as her tumors are now causing much pressure in the stomach and cause sort of projectile vomitting. She sleeps much and is quite listless. A  friend of hers from NY came to visit her and she smiled for the first time in weeks. So my dear friends, it is just time.... But on a happier note, I became a grandma this week. My sister was so looking forward to becoming a great aunt...She knows of her little nephew but couldn't join us for the celebrations. We'll keep in touch, Belle

Re: Short update to anyone who cares

Hi Belle,
Thanks for the update.  Our prayers and thoughts are with you all.  I'm sure the hydration has kept the pain medication working fairly well. 
God Bless,
Jeff G.

Take it to the Limit,One More Time! (Eagles)

Re: Short update to anyone who cares

Congratulations, Belle, on becoming a grandmother!  Such a bittersweet time, I'm sure.  My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Jolene

"Faith in something greater than ourselves enables us to do what we have said we'll do, to press forward when we are tired or hurt or afraid, to keep going when the challenge seems overwhelming and the course is entirely uncertain."     ~g. b. hinckley

Re: Short update to anyone who cares

Belle,
Thanks for letting us know how things are going. Your family will continue to be in my prayers.

Kris

Cancer is a word, not a sentence.

36 year old patient with buckets of hope