Dear Nancy, my goodness, 3 months is nothing after having spent so long with your husband! This sadness will come and go but if it comes and starts hanging around for a couple of weeks please ask your Doctor to give you something to help. I thought I was do strong but last December which was 3 years I realized I just could not stop crying. Had an appointment with my Gastro for the Colitis and he realized that even when I was doing the "potty talk" to him the tears were running down my face. He put me on Lexapro, a very small dose of 10 mg and it has made a world of difference with no side effects. Be kind to Nancy and know you are perfectly normal. Below is a poem I wrote on how I was feeling when I was about 4 months out from losing Teddy.
How Are You Doing?
Everyone asks me how I’m doing since you went away,
With a smile on my face I answer, “I really am okay”.
Matter of fact its very hard but I promised to be strong,
Until the time we meet again, in your arms where I belong.
In the morning when I wake, once where there was warmth all night,
There’s nothing but an empty space and a pillow to hold tight.
Our closet now holds all my clothes it still looks kind of strange,
I try to make it look like more and constantly rearrange.
When I’m in the kitchen and working at the sink,
Many times I stop and this is what I think…..
If Teddy was here he’d grab me to give a little cue,
That he was about to hug me and say his, “I love you”.
No more are the corny jokes that grew longer by the year,
What I wouldn’t give now for just one more, to hear.
When someone calls, his message is still kept on the phone,
That way no one knows I am really home alone.
When day is over and dinner is eaten by one,
No more thank you-s for the meal well done.
Can’t find anyone to scratch my back,
There’s just a big hole here, a hole of midnight black.
But, how am I doing? I’m doing okay,
I know that you would want it that way.
And I know you are with me morning to night,
Still watching over me, that every things all right!
Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.