Topic: 23 days....

We lost my mom in 23 days from this hideous form of cancer.  By the time they found it, it was in  her kidney as well.  I was fortunate enough to be with her for almost all of that time, but it was so painful to watch her wither away so quickly.  Every day we could see her go downhill.  And to think, the week before the tumors were found, she was still going to the gym.  I can't wrap my head around it.  I'm hopeful for those of you who have treatment options and pray that they work.  We just didn't have enough time to try anything.  She didn't have an incredible amount of pain, though, and we were able to control it with Oxycodone and only had to use morphine for about the last 24 hours of her life.  For that I'm grateful.  But I didn't get the opportunity to ask her questions and talk to her about things as it affected her mind quickly.  And the symptoms at the end....were very difficult to see.  Hospice was of the belief that it had quickly spread to her stomach, which was causing blood to work it's way up her throat.  She wasn't choking, but her mouth was bloody.  I'm sorry if that's too graphic....but it's an image I can't get rid of.  I'm incredibly sad - she was only 68 and in otherwise great health.  I'm thankful to have a forum to share my thoughts and it's encouraging to see others who are fighting the fight.  And I hope they win.  smile

Re: 23 days....

My heart is breaking for you this morning....for the loss of your mom.....for the things you had to see ....for the words left unspoken.  It's unbelievable that she is gone that suddenly.  Know that whatever, you were there for your mom and she didn't suffer very much due to the care she got from you and others.  That's a lot to be thankful for, but I know it isn't even close to being enough to ease the pain you feel right now.  Hugs..and more hugs.

Julie T.

"Just for today, I can get through anything."  Hey....I'm a cancer survivor, not a doctor.  The opinions I state are my own, based on my personal experiences or knowledge.  As always, talk to your doctor about your concerns and treatment.

Re: 23 days....

I am so very sorry about your Mom, please accept my heartfelt condolences. I know that right now your memory is that of a horrible nightmare but please know that in time the good memories will take over the bad ones. I also believe your Mom will always be around you as others really never leave their children.

Do not stand at my grave and weep;
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn's rain,
When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.                   By Mary Elizabeth Frye
For everything beautiful that you see
will bring a memory of me.

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.

Re: 23 days....

Dear Leigh,

I am so very sorry to hear of the passing of your mum, please accept my sincere condolences. I lost my dad to this cancer too and I so know the pain that you feel right now. Having been there with my dad throughout everything I can also so relate to everything that you have experienced and are going through at this very moment. Please know that we are here for you always and I would urge you to keep coming back and talk with us if you want to. My thoughts are with you and your family right now.

Hugs,

Gavin

Any advice or comments I give are based on personal experiences and knowledge and are my opinions only, they are not to be substituted for professional medical advice. Please seek professional advice from a qualified doctor or medical professional.

Re: 23 days....

Dear  Leighan,

You have my deepest sympathy and understanding on the loss of your mom.  I lost my husband  very quickly from this disease at age 62, so I truly know how it feels.  Take some comfort in knowing that at least she did not have to suffer very long and is now in a better place, with no more suffering or pain.  Keep her with you forever in your heart and memories.  My thoughts are with you and your family at this sad & trying time. 

Hugs,
Darla

"One Day At A Time"

All of my comments and suggestions are just my opinions and are not a substitute for professional medical advice.   You should always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care providers.

Re: 23 days....

So sorry that you had to go through this with your mother. I am sorry for your loss. I am glad that you were able to have hospice involved since they are such good support. Also remember that they will continue to be there for you and your family with bereavement services. If you need to, be sure to take advantage of it if you need.

Hugs, KrisV

Any advice given is based on my experiences and should not be substituted for any medical recommendations. Please speak with your provider before making any changes.

Re: 23 days....

Leigh.....Please allow me to express my most sincere condolences to you and your family.  Loosing your Mom to this cancer in such a short time span is difficult to comprehend yet; here you encourage others with your kind words.  Thank you, dear Leigh. 

I so much hope for the last images of your dear Mom to lessen the impact with time, but I want to share with you my thoughts.  Only a select group of patients encounter the end of life issue you are describing and the experience is difficult to forget.  Gastro cancers are different then all others and I strongly believe that end of life issues have not been fully addressed with the physicians and with Hospice.  CCF is placing high priority on this issue.

I wish for your heart to begin to heal….one day at a time.

Hugs,
Marion

THIS INFORMATION IS NOT INTENDED NOR IMPLIED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL MEDICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD ALWAYS SEEK THE ADVICE OF YOUR PHYSICIAN OR OTHER QUALIFIED HEALTH CARE PROVIDER

Re: 23 days....

Thanks to you all for your kind words.  I hate that so many people have experience with this, but it is comforting at the same time.  I'm trying to learn as much as I can, and I hope to someday - when I'm strong enough - be able to volunteer and bring awareness about CC.  I think my mom would want me to do that.

Many blessings to all of you! 

Leighan

Re: 23 days....

Leighan.....whenever you are ready and feel strong enough please don't hesitate from reaching out to us.   Minus some outside contractors as well as the Executive Director position, this organization is build and functions on volunteerism.

But, allow yourself plenty of time, continue to reach out to others on this board, and seek professional help if needed.  Grieving the loss of a parent does not comply with the limit set by time or date.  It is all about you, dear Leighan. 

Hugs,
Marion

THIS INFORMATION IS NOT INTENDED NOR IMPLIED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL MEDICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD ALWAYS SEEK THE ADVICE OF YOUR PHYSICIAN OR OTHER QUALIFIED HEALTH CARE PROVIDER