Topic: SENSITIVE..but Funny for Me....My Own Cemetery Plot

My Brother was here this last week and he felt that since my Dad had 2 extra Cemetery Plots here that he would give them to me. Being the planners that we are we decided to go to the Cemetery ...Valley of the Sun...and get it all set up and take that off the minds of our kids and ourselves. Have to tell you it took 3 hours and we were like a comedy act. Haven't laughed so hard in ages but it is all set and we are relieved.
The 2 plots are right off the circular drive in the Jewish section. He says, there is no shade and I said it doesn't matter I will be shaded for eternity. It went on like that over hours. Anyway he came up with a brilliant idea for me. I wanted to be cremated and my ashes mingled with Teddy's. My Brother was against that as most Jews are not for Cremation. So, he suggested that we put Teddy's Urn with me when I am in my new Condo underground. Marvelous! My Brother has done so much for me its the least I could do for him and all I really wanted was to be with T-Bear. We were telling our person at the Cemetery what we wanted to do and she said you cannot do that with an Urn, however if no one sees, just slip a bag with the ashes in to the coffin.  Otherwise there is another 900.00 tacked on. Can you imagine? So I am happy, he is happy and that big step no one cares to take is done and we are relieved. I didn't ask for my computer yet so I can stay on the CC site!!! Hey, all, it was not a bad thing to do at all and now it's done, set and sealed...not to make a pun. My point was to share with you that as one gets older it is a good thing to have done and ready. Oh, then the lady said,  and where ever you are when you pass we will pick you up. I said oh, well that will be center stage on Broadway.

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.

Re: SENSITIVE..but Funny for Me....My Own Cemetery Plot

Too funny Lainy!  One of the best thing my in-laws did for us was to have all their arrangements made years before they died.  We plan to do the same thing for our children and have set a goal of getting this done before our trip to Ireland in October.

Glad you worked things out about the eternal rest with Teddy!

Survivor of cholangiocarcinoma (2009), thyroid cancer (1999), and breast cancer (1994).

My comments, suggestions, and opinions are based only on my personal experience as a cancer survivor. Please consult a physician for professional guidance.

Re: SENSITIVE..but Funny for Me....My Own Cemetery Plot

Oh Lainy....only YOU could find something funny about the subject of looking at cemetery plots, cremation vs traditional burials. 

I have to tell you about a cemetery in our city....one that is VERY large and "tastefully" laid out (pun intended) ...beautiful landscaping.  For years, their slogan was, ....are you ready, "Everything in one place."  ACK!!!   I could never look at that sign without laughing.  REALLY....EVERYthing in one place.  I sure HOPE so.!  Of course...they meant, funeral home, chapel, crematory, flower shop, mausoleum all in one place....but that wasn't what I thought of when I saw the sign.  Apparently, I was looking on the "dark side."  smile))))))

Just for today, I can get through anything.  "Never let fear decide your fate."  (from the band, Awoination.)

Re: SENSITIVE..but Funny for Me....My Own Cemetery Plot

Thanks Randi and Julie, I knew you would understand and laugh and that is how I get through life.
Say, Ladies, I have a date for lunch tomorrow. He is my age, both Taurus, He was a CPA and Realtor and lives in a pretty chi, chi part of Scottsdale. His name is Dave and I am glad as I usually meet men whose names are only 3 letters. My ex was Ron, then Ted, also met a guy out here last winter named Lou. I will give a report when I get home. He is taking me to a Sicilian restaurant and I am excited as I have only been to Italian restaurants and didn't know there was a Sicilian one. Take care lovely ladies.

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.

Re: SENSITIVE..but Funny for Me....My Own Cemetery Plot

Oh Lainy that was too good. I could just see it and that would be exactly how I am.....some of it is being a nurse and our humor runs a little black anyway. My kids asked me once what I wanted done and I said I didn't care since I was dead and it didn't matter.

I have passed that humor on to me kids too....some may not find this next very funny but I did and still do. My youngest son's dad passed away about 2 years ago from alcohol related problems and left none of his wishes know. I vaguely remember from many years ago that he wanted to be cremated so I told my son that was what I thought. We were waiting for the funeral home to show up with the coroner and sheriff's deputy still there (he died at home unplanned so it was a circus) as we were discussing this. I asked my son what he wanted to do with dad's ashes and he absolutely dead-pan tells me he is going to take them to the little Minute Mart where his dad bought all his booze and flush him down the toilet hoping that he clogs it up. I though the sheriff was going to need CPR after that. Black humor but also tongue in cheek because my son had tried really hard to get the Minute Mary to not sell to his dad alcohol when he would come in obviously intoxicated. We ended up having his dad placed in the crypt with his mother, my son's grandmother.

So yes you cloud see where I would find that so very funny.

KrisV

Any advice given is based on my experiences and should not be substituted for any medical recommendations. Please speak with your provider before making any changes.

Re: SENSITIVE..but Funny for Me....My Own Cemetery Plot

Good post, Kris. When I was married to Brand EX I was mother and father and did everything with my 2 kids as their sperm donor was busy stealing, seeing prostitutes and  gambling and I knew nothing. Oh lets not forget he never said I love you and caused a lot of mental abuse. BUT I got my 2 kids out of it!! Anyway he ended meeting his end in Ensenada Mexico and was cremated. Well Phil, my son has his ashes in a shoe box and still has not done anything with them. I think he wanted to be with his 2nd wife. I asked him when he was going to do something with the ashes and he said I don't know, I can't find them! You had to know my Ex to appreciate this one. He was lost in life and  lost in death,

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.

Re: SENSITIVE..but Funny for Me....My Own Cemetery Plot

Lainy
You are so funny!!!! Have fun on your dinner date.
Hugs
Lisa

This Information Is Not Intended Nor Implied To Be A Substitute For Professional Medical Advice. You Should Always Seek The Advice Of Your Physician Or Other Qualified Health Care Provider

Re: SENSITIVE..but Funny for Me....My Own Cemetery Plot

Ooooh....Lainy....we need a full update of how the date went.  Have fun!

Just for today, I can get through anything.  "Never let fear decide your fate."  (from the band, Awoination.)

Re: SENSITIVE..but Funny for Me....My Own Cemetery Plot

Have fun Lainy and let us know how it went.

KrisV

Any advice given is based on my experiences and should not be substituted for any medical recommendations. Please speak with your provider before making any changes.

Re: SENSITIVE..but Funny for Me....My Own Cemetery Plot

Good one Momma! And nothing wrong with finding humour in anything IMO if that is the way that someone is, like me too! We do cremations here in Scotland and still got my dads ashes. Not got a clue what to do with them so he stays in the urn just now in my room! I guess that way he can keep an eye on me!

Dinner date??? We need details!! Hope it went well!

Any advice or comments I give are based on personal experiences and knowledge and are my opinions only, they are not to be substituted for professional medical advice. Please seek professional advice from a qualified doctor or medical professional.

Re: SENSITIVE..but Funny for Me....My Own Cemetery Plot

You can find humor anywhere! smile
Good luck with your date. May he be better than my last one. Actually, he was nice. Just not for me.

KrisJ
"Don't just have minutes in the day; have moments in time."
Any opinions I give are based on personal experiences, and are not based on medical knowledge. I strongly suggest receiving medical care and opinions.

Re: SENSITIVE..but Funny for Me....My Own Cemetery Plot

Thanks everyone. It is a lunch date. I am thinking this morning, he had 4 pictures posted and 2 looked great and 2 looked like someone else. Mmmmm  Well we are meeting in Scottsdale and I always tell Robin where I am. In 2 of the pics he was just my type the other 2 not so. This should be interesting.

Gavin, one of Teddy's daughters is having her husband build a little waterfall in the back yard and putting Teddy's ashes under a small bush at the waterfall. I have him in an Urn and no one would know unless I say, "And this is Teddy". You could even get a small artificial tree for the apartment and put the ashes in a little bag and put them under the bottom of the tree. One I liked best was a girl who was dating my Grandson knew that T and Josh loved to golf together and she got Josh a silver mini golf bag and it carries some of Teddy so that Josh feels his Papa is golfing with him. Say, your Dad loved horses. How about finding some kind of horse (not live of course) like an art piece and put the ashes in the saddle? Just thinking. Oooo thats a bad thing!  Got to start getting ready here.

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.

Re: SENSITIVE..but Funny for Me....My Own Cemetery Plot

Hope your date goes well Lainy, enjoy! That sounds like a good idea about the ashes for T and my dad too, I'll speak to my mum about that. Have fun today and hope it goes well!

Any advice or comments I give are based on personal experiences and knowledge and are my opinions only, they are not to be substituted for professional medical advice. Please seek professional advice from a qualified doctor or medical professional.

Re: SENSITIVE..but Funny for Me....My Own Cemetery Plot

Hi Everyone. Lunch was great and I loved the Pasta sauce it had a kick to it. Dave was extremely nice and sweet and cute. His wife passed just 9 months ago and they had no children and she was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer and passed a week later. He is still grieving but really trying hard. He goes to a grief group at Mayo here, so we shall see. He is virtually alone. We had a lot of similarities but I left the ball in his court. At least it was a very good experience. And that is my report. Gavin, my foodie, since I had Italian for lunch and am still dressed up with make up and all going to do Chinese tonight. Its only 108o here today!

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.

Re: SENSITIVE..but Funny for Me....My Own Cemetery Plot

Lainy, it "sounds" like you had a good time.  Nice...Sweet...Cute....those are all "good" words.  smile   
Hey....no sense wasting  the energy getting dressed up and the make up.....by all means......Chinese dinner would be a good compliment to the Italian lunch.    smile)))   

Was a heat index of near 100 today in eastern Iowa.  The actual high temp was in the lower to mid 90's, but the dew point was 69 or so, making it feel like you are breathing in water when you go outside.  It is really hard to do anything with that kind of dew point.  I had a hard time breathing when I went outside to put the car in the garage before a rain shower came through here.   Tomorrow afternoon, the front will be through here and the conditions should moderate.....and I'm soooo looking forward to that when I get out of chemo late afternoon. 

Julie T.

Just for today, I can get through anything.  "Never let fear decide your fate."  (from the band, Awoination.)

Re: SENSITIVE..but Funny for Me....My Own Cemetery Plot

Julie, if it rained here I swear I would go out and do my own rain dance. Good luck with the chemo.  When it rains it never covers the whole city and where I live it is South and we hardly ever get rain.

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.

Re: SENSITIVE..but Funny for Me....My Own Cemetery Plot

Sounds like it was nice Lainy and Dave sounds alright as well. Think you did the right thing leaving stuff in his court as you say. Italian for lunch, shock horror!! And good thinking with the chinese for tea as well, nice!  Although eating all of that food in 108 temp, I'd be wilting in that! It's hot for us here but no where near what you have over there! We could do with some rain here for the garden, not often you hear me saying that!

Julie, hope that your chemo goes well, fingers crossed for you.

Any advice or comments I give are based on personal experiences and knowledge and are my opinions only, they are not to be substituted for professional medical advice. Please seek professional advice from a qualified doctor or medical professional.

Re: SENSITIVE..but Funny for Me....My Own Cemetery Plot

Lainy, good to hear you enjoyed your lunch! Always fun to meet new NICE people, whether it goes anywhere or not. I hope it does, for you. You deserve happiness (not that you aren't happy, but...)
It was only mid nineties here yesterday. Chilly for you! lol

KrisJ
"Don't just have minutes in the day; have moments in time."
Any opinions I give are based on personal experiences, and are not based on medical knowledge. I strongly suggest receiving medical care and opinions.

Re: SENSITIVE..but Funny for Me....My Own Cemetery Plot

Hi Lainey,
I not only have my cemetery plot but I have the headstone in place. I have been told by people that it is the prettiest one in our little local cemetery. The only thing Tom asked me to do before he died was to promise to be buried with him. I put both of our names and our dates, the date of our wedding and an etching of our farm on it . It is black and the etching is beautiful. He isn't buried there yet. I told my kids to mix my ashes up with his someday and bury us at the same time. The day after the stone was set I looked out my kitchen window and the headlights were flashing on and off on my car. I had to go out and manually shut them off. I put them back on auto later in the day and it has never happened since. I think he was just letting me know that he was happy with the stone and pleased that I was going to keep my promise!
On a lighter note I too am dating. I tried Match for a few weeks earlier in the year but was not happy with the results. It was actually depressing. About 5 weeks ago I was sitting here alone realizing my kids were busy with their lives and my parents are not going to be here much longer and all of my friends are married and decided to try it again....seriously this time! I connected with someone I have known for years. He's never been married and doesn't have kids. We actually discovered we graduated together and he used to think I was cute when I worked at the local golf course and he golfed there. He's a wonderful person and really likes me a lot and the craziest part of all is that I feel the same. He has a lot of the same personality traits that I loved in Tom and I really like his differences too. I would be unbelievably lucky to have two wonderful men in my life. Time will tell. But so far so good. I hope you are happy and well. This is a busy time of year for me so I don't get on often. I hope you're having a great summer!  Love, Mary

Re: SENSITIVE..but Funny for Me....My Own Cemetery Plot

Oh, my sweet, sweet Mary. First of all I LOVE the Grave Stone! Fabulous. I seem to recall someone else had headlights blinking at them and I may be wrong but I think it was Darla.
Did ya ever think a year ago you would meet someone? And be able to feel for them? It does happen and I am so happy for you, so happy! And so is Tom. Our guys don't want us to be alone. Yes, the kids have their own lives and I do miss the companionship of a man. We will  ALWAYS have our boys in our hearts first and foremost but we do not have to roll up like a rug and miss out on life. Life is for the living. I know how much you miss Tom as you both were like me and T and the best sign of a good marriage or a good love is to want to be with someone again.
I go on SeniorMeet but just took a break. May go back on tomorrow. I mean picture guys in their 70's with on line names like HOT WILLIE or SENSUALSENIOR  UGH! Oh and usually they are still climbing mountains, surfing and rock climbing! Yeah, right. You go girl and have a great time! I miss you, we have been together quite a while now. So good to see your smiling face. HAVE FUN!

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.

Re: SENSITIVE..but Funny for Me....My Own Cemetery Plot

Thanks for your love Lainy. It was actually me talking about the headlights before. The strangest thing of all happened a few weeks ago. It also had to do with lights! Isn't that funny?! Our boys like to fool around with electricity. I think Tom learned from Teddy. I love your description of your "senior" friends! Everyone is athletic and toned too!!! The last guy I went out with before Bob was a respectable business man who even knew my big brother. He had daughters and granddaughters and during dinner he asked me if I was good at sex. Unbelievable. No respect. I guess that's why I like Bob so much too, he's a real gentleman! I hope you find a nice man also. As you say it will never be the same but I just can't imagine spending the next 25 or 30 ? years alone mourning Tom. I'll always love him and miss him everyday and I hope he keeps sending me little signs now and then! Have a wonderful day and be safe with that dating. I hope I never have to do it again.
  We need to get together. We're two of the "originals" on here. We should have some kind of cholangiocarcinoma .org convention! It would be wonderful to give you a hug in person! Lots of love. Mary

Re: SENSITIVE..but Funny for Me....My Own Cemetery Plot

Mary, you could come see me anytime in the winter and take a break from your tundra! Just enjoy your Gentleman and have fun! I did decide to go back to choir at my Temple in the adult community we lived in. I also her there are 2 widowers my friends out their like. So we shall see. Just rejoined the online site I go to. UGH no one and nothing has changed.   
Yes, the guys really come through electricity a lot although Teddy has found some very unique ways to visit. Like pictures only of him or us rattling on the wall of pictures. Stay well.

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.

Re: SENSITIVE..but Funny for Me....My Own Cemetery Plot

Hi Lainy,
  After 8 years I've finally figured out how to post a picture! I would love to come visit you. Take care. Love, Mary

24 (edited by Lainy Wed, 30 Jul 2014 18:19:50)

Re: SENSITIVE..but Funny for Me....My Own Cemetery Plot

LOVE, love your picture. You are beautiful! BTW you don't scare me about a visit I am elated. Hey if I can spend 4 days with Kris I certainly can take you on!!!  I love my Cookie, Kris. Actually I know it sounds corny but I just love everyone on this site. I am blessed in so many ways. So far Kris and Darla may come out as well. Don't know if I should space everyone or if we should have a mini CC convention! I am so excited it gives me something  to look forward too. Maybe I could get Marion to hop down but we would have to handcuff her to keep her from working!

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING
Any suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.

Re: SENSITIVE..but Funny for Me....My Own Cemetery Plot

Ha, ha....from cemetery plots to  head stones to handcuffs.  Interesting and hilarious conversation.
Hugs,
Marion

THIS INFORMATION IS NOT INTENDED NOR IMPLIED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL MEDICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD ALWAYS SEEK THE ADVICE OF YOUR PHYSICIAN OR OTHER QUALIFIED HEALTH CARE PROVIDER