26 (edited by JeffG Fri, 22 Aug 2008 07:44:26)

Re: Good thoughts please

Sophie... Your not wicked are You?  God is great and he loves you dearly doesn't he? We all think why the hell me, don't we?  Why not that jerk?  I've given my whole life and what do I get in return? Cancer? death? survival? An opportunity to do something great?  Are we assisting God to shed awareness?  Is our purpose on earth to help save others? First line of order is , LOVE YOURSELF !  Don't ever feel gulity for your thoughts.  Your not being tried in a court of law.  It's natural for us to ask all the why questions. I've been a  bad boy a few times in my life, I still ask myself why and never did get any answers.  God still loves me as he does you.  The world /Earth is a big school, We start learning from the moment we are born and contiune to learn until the day we die.  Yes, it gets harder and harder with each and every year because we are smarter and want to know the answers to all the whys in our lives.  Unfortunately , God has decided to save the answers until we reach our home meant to be. Live and love for today Sophie, God is right here with us, all the way.  I'm glad God is making the big decisions and that I've put my trust and faith in him.  Where did this come from Sophie?  Straight from my heart.  Why? Because I care and love my brothers and sisters.  You'll be just fine . why?  Because you have a heart that cares and loves as well.  Don't you ever forget it.  91/2 years I have asked many questions with many unanswered, but God's love tells me it's okay to be mortal and wonder why?  Wow, did I just say all this? I wonder why? Your the best Sophie along with many others who wonder why? I'm not trying to push religion or God Sophie, It's my personal choice to say, do, and feel the way I want.  Others may look too a higher power or universe to obtain their feelings and thoughts, and that is okay as well.

God Bless,
Jeff G.

Take it to the Limit,One More Time! (Eagles)

Re: Good thoughts please

Dearest Sophie,

Don't ever think God would be disappointed in you. He made us, He gave us all our feelings and He understands.

When my Mom died of cancer I actually thought "Why wasn't it my Dad".
He is a terrible person. My Mom was like you, she raised us (4) by herself,
working two jobs to keep us in a home and fed. We were very poor but happy.

I hate this cancer, When I see older couples together I just cry because John and I will never have that time growing old together but I try to let him know how much I love him everyday.

What you're going through is normal! Why wouldn't ANYONE feel the way you do. Only Jesus was perfect.

We ALL love and care for you and grieve for what you are going through.
Our prayers surround you and I pray that God sends his angels to hold and comfort you.


Re: Good thoughts please


I am just at a loss for words.  Chucks had a recurrence two months ago.  We been doing gemzar and tarceva for two months now.  I am scared everyday.  I worry everyday.  I think about the future and wonder if there is one for us. We might never have the perfect wedding or get to have babies. I will be ruined for the rest of my life if I lose him.  Sometimes I get so angry I forget to breathe. I just want to run away. I want to wake up and be somewhere else.  I want to pretend this never happened to us. He's only 31! Why couldn't we have had a couple more good years together but nooo... I struggle with happiness.  I am jealous of those that it comes so easy to. Sooo.... I think deep down inside we all have those same feelings.  Why him!  I can think of many others that deserve it more and yet..... they live (it seems like forever)  Why us? We were just starting our lives together and trying to live right. All of these thoughts sometimes take me over.  I run away to my moms or to the beach to just breathe and cry.  I always come back. I am tired of hurting and tired of seeing him in pain everyday.  I am tired of worrying everyday.  I am tired of my heart aching everyday.  I am tired of being on the verge of tears EVERDAY!  I am just tired of being tired if that makes sense. I do the best I can with what I have. Keep going... keep fighting.... and keep pushing forward.  That is all I have left.  I feel everyones pain.  I am truly sorry!

Re: Good thoughts please

Wow Chrissy...could not have expressed my feelings any better than you just did as I sit here in tears.  Plus I feel soooooo guilty because the other weekend I actually picked a fight with my husband and apparently said some pretty terrible things that I do not even remember saying and know I would not have said if my head was in a better place.  I think the stress of seeing somebody you love go through this terrible disease and be so helpless to alieviate except in doing research finally made me snap upstairs abit.  I too am truly sorry for all effected with and by this illness.

Wishing all God's blessings!

Re: Good thoughts please

kris,  you have every right to be ticked off!!!  It is not fair that we get sick!   It is not fair to be constantly worrying about each ache or pain ..wondering if this is the 'one' that will send us on that awful roller coaster of pain and fear.  It is not fair to worry about not having a future...not knowing if you dare to plan for next Christmas.    It is not fair to wonder if 'I/we' will  still be here in 10 years or 10 months!We are all too young.  It is not fair especially when the people we love the most and are supposed to love us the most just don't get it or is it they won't get it ?  that is where the anger comes from for me anyway.  They are afraid to share their fear with us I think.  I think they want to spare us but dear God by sparing us they leave us so alone don't they? I know when I worry I would like someone to tell me that they will be there for me and my children and that they will not run away no matter what the news is. We all hear you and we do care.  praying for you, deb