Topic: Confusing, mixed messages

My brother finally convinced my dad that we needed to call hospice care, so he agreed. That was a big step. He wants to remain at home, so we have a whole team coming by to meet and assess him.

The social worker and chaplain talked with him, then told us he is not near death, that he's still very much in control and has a lot of fight in him (we could have told them that!) But then the nurse came, and when we asked her how to get him to eat more, she said he doesn't need food, and that the only reason for him to eat is if it gives him pleasure. If he's refusing it, don't push him. I understand that from their perspective, and when he's nauseated, but doesn't he need just a little something to help the medications be more effective? And won't he just die more quickly without any type of nourishment? We are putting pedialyte in his water glass, per the nurse's suggestion.

He had a very strong day on Tuesday, and wanted to go over funeral plans. We even played his musical selections on the computer, to make sure they were correct.

He's going by ambulance to the hospital today to get drained for the first time, and we're hoping that relieves some of the pain and discomfort.

Have a great day, everyone. Summer is still here in the Midwest, although the light is changing and I can feel fall waiting in the wings.

Barbara Ann

Re: Confusing, mixed messages

Hi Barbara Ann,
As hard as it is, the best thing in my opinion, for your Dad now, is to be pampered and loved and eat and drink what ever he wants.  He'll only eat and drink when he wants anyway.  It's heart breaking to know you have to let go and let nature take it's course.  I't sounds as though he still has some control and knows what he wants, which is good.  To me that is acceptance and he's okay with what is happening or at least knows there is no other options, so he 's going to make the best of it.

Gods Strength,
Jeff G.

Take it to the Limit,One More Time! (Eagles)

Re: Confusing, mixed messages

Barbara Ann,
Who wonderful your dad is still so involved in everything and even making his own funeral plans...just like Caroline. I know this is a difficult time for you and your family, but you are showing such grace and strength.

I hope his draining relieves that pressure and makes him more comfortable.


Cancer is a word, not a sentence.

36 year old patient with buckets of hope