Topic: DOES IT GET EASIER

HI ALL, MY FATHER WAS DIAGNOSED WITH CC ON AUGUST 5TH THIS YEAR (2006) AFTER SYMPTOMS OF WHAT HE AND THE DOCTORS  THOUGHT WAS GALL STONES APPEARED ,UPPER ABDOMEN PAIN, LOSS OF APPETITE, WEIGHT LOSS ,BLOATED STOMACHE. SO THE DOCTOR SAID OK WE WILL HAVE YOU INTO HOSPITAL FOR A SCAN , C.A.T SCAN BUT LIKE ALWAYS THER IS A WAITING LIST OF ABOUT 3-4 WEEKS. BUT ONCE AGAIN STRESSED THAT THEY THINK THAT THE GALL BLADDER WAS BLOCKED WITH GALL STONES.SO ABOUT 1 WEEK LATER MY DAD STARTED TO GO RATHER JAUNDICE.SO ONCE AGAIN GOT DOCTOR TO COME OUT TO HOUSE AND HE TOOK SOME BLOOD TESTS AND WENT AWAY , THEN I THINK IT WAS ABOUT 2 DAYS LATER HE CALLED BACK TO MY MAM AND DADS HOME AND TOLD MY DAD HE HAD TO GO INTO HOSPITAL IMMEADITLY AS HIS JAUNDICE WAS SO HIGH. THE FOLLOWING DAY HE HAD THE SCAN AND WAS SHORTLY TOLD OFF THE CONSULTANT THAT THEY HAD FOUND GALL STONES BUT ALSO THEY HAD FOUND CANCER . THEY HAD TO PERFORM A TRICKY OPERATION TO INSERT A STENT AND A DRAIN TO TRY AND GET HIS BILLIRUBEN DOWN , AND THEN WE WERE TOLD HE HAD CHOLANGIO CARCINOMA AND THAT HE ALSO HAD LIVER METASTATIS THAT THEY COULD NOT TREAT.THE BILLIRUBEN DID NOT DROP SO THEY INSERTED ANOTHER STENT IN THE OTHER SIDE OF HIS LIVER BUT STILL NOT DROPPING .AUGUST THE 26TH MY DAD PASSED AWAY JUST 3WEEKS AFTER BEING DIAGNOSED ,EVERYTHING STARTED GOING WRONG BECAUSE OF THE JAUNDICE (BILLIRUBEN) NOT DROPPING HIS KIDNEYS STARTED TO FAIL AND HE BECAME CONFUSED AT TIMES BECAUSE OF THE CHEMICAL IMBALANCE IN HIS BODY AND HE STARTED GETTING VERY BAD ADEMA (SWELLING/ FLUID) THEN HE JUST WENT DOWNHILL VERY QUICK AND DIED.I WAS THERE FOR HIM WHEN HE PASSED AWAY SO I AM IN AWAY PLEASED I COULD HELP HIM IN THAT RESPECT .BUT I CANNOT GET ALL OF THESE FEELINGS OF HURT , ANGER , WHY WHY WHY DID HE HAVE TO GO LIKE THIS AND SO QUICK ALSO MY MAM AND MY 2 BROTHERS ARE ALSO TAKING IT BAD , PEOPLE SAY THAT THINGS WILL GET BETTER BUT I CANT SEE IT GETTING ANY BETTER SO I THOUGHT I WOULD ASK PEOPLE/FAMILIES ON THIS FORUM WHO HAVE BEEN IN THIS SITUATION BEFORE FOR A LITTLE ADVICE AND FEEDBACK BECAUSE AFTER ALL ONLY US ON THIS FORUM AND A HANDFULL OF PEOPLE THAT DONT KNOW ABOUT THIS FORUM HAVE GONE THROUGH OR ARE GOING THROUGH THIS RARE MONSTER DISEASE. P.S PLEASE HELP THIS HURT INSIDE ME

Re: DOES IT GET EASIER

Hi Darreng I am here crying for you and myself and feeling with you your hurt,anger and the why's. My alan also passed away so quickly. (see rememberance). I am sure everyone on this site  is feeling for you. It is a monster that can grab someone so quickly that there is'nt time to think or even come to terms with what is happening.
Go with the anger, the tears, the frustration and whatever comes. Our hopes and love are with your family. Keep in touch with the site and someday we will be able to inform the world of this. For the time being I am sure we are all there for you to let rip and help in any way possible.

U.K.Member

Re: DOES IT GET EASIER

Darreng,
I cry with you and your family. I know exactly what that pain feels like. My family and I are going through it right now. We lost our DAD to CC on August 11, 2006. He first noticed the abdomen pain in Jan.2006. After that he went to have ultrasound  done, and they find a lesion in his liver. Then they ordered a colonoscopy to rule out the colon cancer. They find nothing in the colon. Later they ordered a biopsy. He went and did the biopsy. They diagnosed him with CC in March.  Right after that I took him to do what they called SIRT(selective internal radiation therapy) This supposely to shrink down the tumor.  But instead it took 50% of his energy level away. Since then my dad was never the same. He then started to turn jaundice and the liver specialist ordered a stent. After that his body begin to deteriorate. He was admitted  for 4 days for pancreatitis. They wouldn't let him eat or drink for 2 days. That was awful! Considering that my dad has lost alot of weight already. Thank goodness that he was at the hospital for only 4 days. When they first admitted him they said it could take weeks or month before the infection clear up. My Mom and I cry many nights leading to August 11th. It was tough seeing my Dad  sick.  And we were feeling so helpless. By now is mid July my Dad start to have chills and temp of 103. Then I  had to take him back to the hospital to see why he would get this awful fever and shaking chill. They admitted him for 7 days after that, giving him IV and antibotic as usual. Then they refer us to Hospice. That was the hardest moment in my life. I didn't want to hear the word Hospice, but I did. My dad was under hospice for a little over a week  and the passed. It hurt so much because of the fact that it was so quick. what has help me and my family is that we have lots of friends and family around for support. And also believe that we'll be reunite with our father once again. "Death is a natural thing"( that was the last phrase I heard from my dad when we all cry infront of him). I pray that God will comfort you and your family during this difficult time.  Luck

4 (edited by ukmember Wed, 13 Sep 2006 01:22:03)

Re: DOES IT GET EASIER

I lost my husband four months ago and in some ways it does get easier and in some ways it is more difficult, as the realisation that he is gone forever seeps in. The raw pain diminishes but I still get waves of disbelief that the man who was at my side for 38 years, is not there. I feel like a part of me has gone.

There are still things that I enjoy and that make life worth living, being with my children and sharing a meal with them, the company of good friends -and that keeps me going, and I know for certain that my husband would have wanted me to get on with my life.

I cry for the future that he won't have - the children getting married, grandchildren, lovely days, and for our future together. But I recognise that the pain will fade and life will go on and I take pride in the things that he did for us, the love that he gave us and the memories he left to us.

Your father's phrase 'death is a natural thing' shows that he had reached some kind of understanding in his own mind and wanted you to take comfort from that fact. What a wise man.

5 (edited by ukmember Wed, 13 Sep 2006 01:22:35)

Re: DOES IT GET EASIER

this is a poem read at my husband's funeral, about his most important legacy of all, what he gave to his children spiritually, emotional and morally. I hope that it gives you and your family some comfort.
The poem is written by Diana Der Hovanessian an Armenian poet. It

Re: DOES IT GET EASIER

My mum ( 71 yrs old ) was diagnosed on May 2006 by CC and we have started to walk through this terrible road without knowing anything.
The doctor said no chemo , no surgery ,just leave the disease to its own progress !
Now she is bed bound and always sleeping.This makes me terribly upset to see my lovely mum in such an awful position . It is incredible to watch her to approach to the end of the road step by step . All we can do is to surround her and try to make her comfortable . I cry everyday and I do not know how I will stand .

Uk Member, Thanks for this lovely poem .

My prayers are always with you . Thanks everyone for your support .

Take care ,
Figen

Re: DOES IT GET EASIER

THANKYOU EVERYONE FOR YOUR REPLIES , IN SOME WAYS IT HELPS TO KNOW THAT ME AND MY FAMILY ARE NOT ALONE IN SEEING THIS CANCER TEAR THROUGH A LOVED ONES LIFE AND THEN LEAVE  YOUR OWN LIFE IN PIECES BUT I DONT MEAN THAT IN A CRUEL WAY WHAT SO EVER. BUT THAT SOMEONE ELSE CAN TOTALLY UNDERSTAND WHAT WE ARE GOING THROUGH & AND I KNOW THAT CANCER IS CANCER , BUT IN ALL HONESTY I HAVE SEEN BOTH MY GRANDADS DIE FROM CANCER AND ALSO AN AUNT , BUT I MUST SAY NOTHING IS LIKE THIS ONE CC IT JUST SEEMS TO STOP YOU IN YOUR TRACKS AND THE DOCS DONT KNOW ENOUGH TO TREAT IT IN MOST CASES TO SUCCESS    P.S ONCE AGAIN THANKS FOR THE FEEDBACK AND STAY IN TOUCH ......... I JUST HOPE THERE IS LIFE AFTER DEATH SO I CAN SEE MY DAD AGAIN XXXXXXX